Waking Thoughts in Brief Soliloquies.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2536, 21 February 1877, Page 3

Waking Thoughts in Brief Soliloquies.

Our life is twofold; sleep hath its own world, A boundary between the things misnamed— Death and existence.— Byron.

Heigho'!■ I'm half asleep still. Morning comes so soon when you don't want it, and yet not half soon enough when you dol Let's see, where am I ? In bed now, that* (certain. Where was I last night? r Oh, I remembers at one of those confounded banquets which they always get up at the Thames to honor him who has not positively robbed his master. Why should I always b^pbliged to go? They' say because I'm Mayor. And so I have to go, and make a speech, or rather speeches, and eat what I don't want, because they say it's right that I should go. And in the morning when I wake, as now, I feel a sort of dry taste in my mouth, and wonder what it is, and then I recollect I took, perhaps, too much mustard with'my tongue last night, and this, no doubt, has been the cause of it. Yes,: 'tis true* uneasy lies a head that wears a crown, and mine's uneasy now— doubly uneasy, I might fairly say—for though Mayors wear not crowns, yet that same banquet cost me two, and hence the root and cause of this uneasiness. Well! Well! I won't stand any more for Mayor—on this point I stand firm; but let some, other fellow in my stead ; and if he be a doctor so much the better, for he can physics make and take after attending one of these same banquets and taking too much mustard, and thus avoid the expense of soda water. - First, there's that Court—am T engaged there? Let -me think. No, lam not; good luck. ■ JBother, I am :^ there is that betting case which everyone now talks about. What is it all about ? Who am "I for?- If I go to Court I must know who I have to appear for. ■ Let me think again. A betting case I Oh! I remember now, something about a horse to be caught and brought somewhere in some time—these are the broad facts, I can easily work in the details. Yes, yes, how cold water refreshes one/ I remember now, I'm for the defendant. I wonder if he'll pay. Wellj myijitfrtner will see to that; besides I think, we're, pretty sure to win, and I can spend the money with advantage by £oing to more banquets! Not I, faifft: once bit twice, shy; so when * the next one —that is banquet, I

mean—is got up for the next man who leaves the Thames, Tor resigns, some office whose duties he has never half discharged, to get a better place, I'll send and, like Calphurnia, say "he's sick." I am the "he," at least I will be then. Caesar said that such a message sent when

one wai well was but a lie. It will not be in my case, for if I am not sick before I shall be after, and so 'tis best to call it an anachronism ; 'tis a good word, and used j by poets and historians who, when they antedate events by a few years, are not much blamed; why then should Ibe for stating at 6 p.m. what I shall be, if I go to banquets, at 6 a.m ? Twelve hours make no great difference in private life. Their greatest use is to brow-beat witnesses who oft forget the very hour and minute when they saw done the things they have described, and sd they contradict themselves, and we who lay in wait to pick them up make note of this, and thus their evidence is of nothing worth in the mind's eyes of those 12 sapient men—sometimes they are but four—who form a jury. Yes; anachronism is the word for me. I thank thee waking thought for teaching me that word. Then, by-the-bye, what is there else to-day. Let me see ; what day is this? Oh, horror! 'tis a Thursday, and" not a Thursday, but a Thursday when the glomerated wisdom of the Council will deal with measures and perhaps with men to night at seven, and I must go and listen to it all, and for the selfsame reason as I ito to banquets—because I'm Mayor. Anc^iisten patiently for two long hours, and strive to act like oil upon the waters

while others talk of what they little know* sitting in a close room the while, with no refreshment save a little water, covered with falling hs. Still one should thankful be for mercies howe'er small; and there is no doubt but that the 'Works Committee is a useful body, and helps the business on which otherwise would drag most wearily, for everything can be referred to them. Well, I must downstairs now. I feel a little better, and thus while in a better mood I'll make this resolution which I'm sure is good :—

No more will I, while at the Thames, I swear, Go to a banquet or put up for Slayor.