What Everybody Says.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2527, 10 February 1877, Page 2

What Everybody Says.

: "In multitude of counseilore'there is .safety." ■ a.-1.-. ■ ■-!":•: • ■■'•' ;';i '■■' :- . .motto' PROVKRB lEverybddy knows tha,twithin past fortnight addresses have been presented to two gentlemen Who have deserved well at the hands of their fellows, and who are,leaving the Thames district.. The first of-these was to? a gentleman always ready to devotejhin s talents to any charitable ; .the second.to.one equally ready to repress crime, which frequently causes charity to be necessary. Perhaps it was on this account that the two addresses^ were so. very similar in words, thai!, it, .was. suggested ,by somebody of a low turn of mind, of course, that the latter might have been copied in part, at any rate, from the former, with the alteration ,of a word here and there, jus^t to m^ke tfae tbing "jgee."" The concluding sentences;'; in ? each are, "like" Qajsar and Pompey, .very much alike, and 'run thus in either 'caser'without wthe' alteration of a single word, " Permit us also to include your amiable lady and'family in these expressions of friendship and goodwill." Is it not remarkable that people living some thirty or forty miles apart should hare each chosen the same words to give rent to their expressions of friendship and good-will ? It of course only

shows that they are the most suitable that could be used.

■„ Kegarding the suitability of epithets somebody has said that if you are of a charitable disposition and can't find any ;#brd expressing praise which you can bestow on a man you are coinjf^lled to fall back on the word amiable, 3fhich has^ bee# likened to the word ijß^eful^when applied to horses, said word useful "being thus defined by Colonel Whyte Melville, who writes thus — " When a man says he has a useful <^ immediftelyfe^ got some useless brute which he wishes to sell to me." Of course this word amiable is only objectionable when appliea to the male sex—when applied to a l?.dy it is obyiousthatcitsi only; meanings can be lovable or^pleasing. ~. _. .

s DpesiAnybpyj kn©w^#ha^ af |st»|4 statt quo" is ? The phrase kppVared in the Advertiser this morning..- riAn early answer will oblige. .

If|ioyfeodyis |opd-o| met/phqSwit.hput regaM 'tV^its^ap'proprfatehiss lei" hinl* or her read a letter in the Auckland morning the action of the Anglican Synod. The church is likened unto a picture, the work o^oiaffial6ersT^ngHbeTO^yrWe¥wllis were known), and( Svhicfa. thosejwho at the present time are entrusted with its care are endeavouring "'to; daub^vef wAth dis? temper." How the process of daubing over with distemperjsraccomplished may be a matter of enquiry by some people; there af^|l(^b|l^s^^a^ w^o afo?f n^re'y ignorant' "of It," and it may be a new process not yet brpught;withiu A the knowledge of everybody. the metaphorical writerjwillvgi^ey. has leiaure^ a translation of tliis and other passages in j^he,fftme.^sip.n, ..n,,.^ o m^a-M

, The, we*ther» afford*,'asnsiweil-knDwn,' subjects for conversation when all others hayeteitherhfailedißot; thebAsHfulness^tjf the speaker leads him to that unenviable frame of mind whrch afflicted the"barber'» boy in " The Family Scapegrace," who, though anxious id enter 1 into conversation with the customers, could, owing to his USSaW! modesty,'ne¥er, get' beyond these three? ihjrases,:'- i":Th&: ; weatKer 9 iiu<distrea^^^:^^M^^r^' 'ow that chimney, .£s6^ \j smoke to be sure," varied by "mr parting request i " Euy a pot of our pomade; sir; now So?' The-weather lately has, however.afforded fair fdod for conversation, for it has'been meted out on the principle thatitnever rains but it pours, as for the last few days it has not only rained with but little cessation, but has commenced without notice to the great annoyance of those whose bonnets, hats, &a.,were new and had no need of thelcoldivater cure.- It was, perhaps, only natural that those who found -themselves overtaken ~(this word is ..not used'^to signify that-- state which' r leads .up to3the sentence 10s, and costs)!' should fly-for shelter where shelter^aanearest. This was the case the Other ;day when what is called a-knot .men" and boys, being overtaken,by a storm/betook themselves to the nearest-verandah, and as the jraiji t showed no appearance of stop-ping,-whilei away the time by asking each other' riddles, the dreariness' ot which c t oujd o.nly be ,equalled.by the weather,! wnich is ;fdr it. However, f they caused everybody present to laugh; which showed that "*hey' we:e easily pleased. Here are some of the least bad amongst jthem:— " ■ - r - • Question :,~Why ist the rain like mining shares at the Thames F v , ' Answer:"'Because it can't be trans* ferred. Wrong—try again. Answer*. Qan't—give; it up. , . Correct answer: 'Cos its always coming down. .. (Laughter). -EidUle 2: Why is-the" weather like George,lll. , % .\ , , s Answer: Because^ jit has a long reign (rain). (More laughter). An intermission' here • occurred owing to a gentleman with a short pipe, (which he removed when speaking) saying— "Them two words aint spelt alike." __ To him responded the propounder. " What does .that-signify,.they begin with the same' letter and end ' with ' the -same letter, and they sound the same; who cares about the middle.?- You're one of them grammarians, you^are.'' [ t He of the pipe denied the soft impeachment in language more forcible than polite, using in particular one word which appeared to hare reference to blocking up the course i of rivers., However, further controversy vas stopped by tbe unanimous call on one member to propound another riddle. " Well," he replied, " I've got a capital answer, but I can't find a question no ho.w." " What sort of a question do you WantPPs" s Was then asked. "I want/" said he, " a question something about a wether sheep and the weather, and the rein of a horse and the rain, and anything else that'll work in for a' good 'question." As there appeared nobody ready to respond to this reasonable request, and the weather had cleared up everybody went away, though somebody was heard asking in loud tones: Wiiy the rain which had fallen tliia week was likelthe letter x jn algebra j but as nobody vouchi safed an answer he had to answer it himself, and replied (to himself) : " Because its an' unknown quantity.' 1 x Nobody laughed, and he put them all down as being devoid of manners, and hoped it would rain again before they got home.