THE MAN WHO WANTED INFORMATION.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2088, 13 September 1875, Page 4

THE MAN WHO WANTED INFORMATION.

Yesterday, while all the people around the office, except the "head reporter," were at dinner, the smell of smoke suddenly became apparent, and a fab man, smoking a big pipe, came toiling up the stairs. . When he had recovered his breath and taken a seat he inquired-— "Is der big editor what knows everydings in?" *

" No—gone to dinner," was the reply. " Und he shall come back purty soon ? " " In about two hours." " I can't wait so quick as dot; I haf t.o go to a funeral." " Did you want anything ? " " Yes, I want to know somedings about dot Peecher scandal. You zee, one day about dree months ago a fellow comes mit my zaloon and he says—'Did you hear noddings about Mr Peecher ? ' und I say nix, and he says Mr Peecher shtole corn." "Yes." " Und der nesct day when I went home my wife says—' Did you hear noddings about Mr Peecher ?■' Und she said Mr Peecher shtole a dog." "Yes." "Und when I was in der street gar a man says—Hello, Mr Ritterman, what you dinks about Mr "Peecher ?' Und I I says no man can be a goot man who will shteal a dog. Und den everybody laughs and winke, and I don't know about it." "Yes."

"Und when I \tas in der Zitv Hall a man shtrikes me on der paclr, and zays — * Hello, old frient, is Mr Peecher guilty ? ' TJnd I said I dunno, and he said Mr Peercher hireta'marito blowup aschurch mit a barrel of bowdow." "Yes." " Und den vhen I was in Dearborn a man looks bretty sharp at me and says— ' You lif in Datroit don't you ?' Und I said I lif T in Datroit. Und he says— 5 What is your shudgment on dot Peecher pisiness ? " Und he said Mr Peecher had a fight mit a zircus man." "les." " Und when my pig boy come home from Doledo he says—' Fadder what you dinks about dot Mr Peecher?' Und I says I dunno, Hans. Und he says Mr Peecher got some gloze und shumped der dailer's bill." "Yes." ... " Und when I goes home, or in de street star, or mit my saloon, or in der bost-office, somebody say somedings about dot Peecher pisiness, and I dunno. Who is dot Mr Peecher ? Where he lif ? " "He is a great preacher, and he lives in Brooklyn.'' "Zo? Und what he do?. . "He got one of those tobacco boxes with a needle in the cover, and carried it around in his pocket. When a man tried tq open it, the needle went in his thumb about twenty-five feet." " Is dot possible ?" v •( Tea, and. he had his vest pocket made so deep that a cigar would go clear out of sight, and he kept it full, and deceived the public." "My zoul! but is dot so ? " " Yes, and he keeps an old wild-cat bill in his wallet to lend out when a man wants to secure the loan of a dollar for a few minutes." " Veil I deglare ! Yen a breacher shall do like dot we shall wonder vat next. Zo dot is der Seedier pisraess, eh? Yell, veil."—Detroit Free Press.