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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2040, 19 July 1875, Page 2

Hints to Young Bachelobs. —Pay 1 your bills before you pay-your addresses. * The Chubch .Militant—Methodist iparson, called to preach ia an out-of-the-way towa iv California, was informed be* !foro entering the pulpit that he must be [careful-, as many of the assembled congregation were " roughs," and would not hesitate to disturb him if his remarks, didn't suit. The holy man made no reply, | but, having reached the desk, he took from his pockets two revolvers, and, j placing one on each side of the Bible. ] gave a sharp glance around the house, and said, " Let us pray,"- Report says that a more orderly service was never conducted. . ' ' •- • JSTot to be Don* that Way.—All erring husband who had exhausted an ; explanations for late hours, and had no' apology ready, recently slipped into tho house about 1 o'clook, very softly, , denuded himself gently, and began: rocking the cradle by the bedside as if he had been awakened out of a sound sleep by infantile cries. Ho had rocked away for five minutes when Mary Jane, whe had silently observed the wholo manooeuvre, said, " Come to bed, you fool, you! the baby ain't there !" % A quarrelsome; ; couple were discussing the;subject of epitaphs and tombstones, and the husband said: "My dear, what kind of a stone do you suppose they will give me when I die ? " " Brimstone, my love." was the affectionate reply.