HE WAS NOT DRUNK.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2028, 5 July 1875, Page 3

HE WAS NOT DRUNK.

Lately & mari dressed in good clothes, an eye-glass, arfcl a gold-mounted cane, and possessing altogether a rather clerical; appearance, hailed-,a' passing street car. There 1 was nothing unusual or particularly 'noticeable- in this except, the air of lofty dignity with which he commanded a halt, and the desperate effort; which lie had made tojnaintain his centre of ■gravity as he passed to the car, and to conceal.the fact that hewasslightly inebriatedv ' Arriving at the door he solemnly raised his 'right foot to enter: but not raising it, quite high enough he fell, headlong on p the floor of the car. Baising himself, up with some difficulty, he cast a severely reproving look at the old gentleman sitting near the door/ and-said: "Sir, what d'yott lift up this car for just as I was going to get in ?' " M.J dear sir, I didn't lift the car, replied the old gentleman meekly, Casting as Steady a gaze on\the old gentleman as he cpald ' under the .circumstances,; he replied: "Well, perhaps yeu didn't.; I won't 'tempt to argi^e with a man in your

condition. My amiable friend, it's my calm and deliberate 'pinion that you've been looking upon the wine when it is red. Very sorry to see it in a man of your age. What d'3 ron /apose your mother would say if sin; should see you intossicated ? My friend, I've wept -many tears over such cases as yours. Ye.i," continued he, in a faltering voice, and pulling out his handkerchief, "and I'm ;': " ; if I ain't Weeping now as you! readily observe." Whereupon ho wiped his eyes with a grand flourish, blow his. nose, snd navigated to the other end of the car. When he reached his destination he pulled the bell-strap and started for the door. When he got about halfway, and just in front of a hidy, he tripped and fell full length on the floor. Eaising himself to «i perpendicular, he turned to the lady, and, in a tone of mingled severity"and whisky, said: "Madame, •you've certainly got llio biggest feet I ever saw m'life." " Sir !" said tho.lady, indignantly. " Oh, don't 'pologlse, madame. I beg you not to 'pelogise. You're not to blame. You can't help it. But if you could just pare 'em down a little 'twould be a great 'eotninodation to the travelling public." The lady was speechless wilhhinrlignation, the passengers were convulsed, and the gentleman 'stalked majestically to the door, stepped to the ground, and immediately sat down. As the car moved away he rose, examined his clothes, looked .up and down the street wared his hand in an uncertain way, and walked away.—Detroit News.