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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2022, 28 June 1875, Page 2

An Indiana man had the ramrod } of a, shot gun fired through him, and the only damage was " a durn queer feelinp'.'!.- " ~y "To mooch lager," said a Dutchman, " ish bad, but a good deal ish shust right." ;1 A Seeming Conteadiction.—-We send to our butcher for a sweetbread, aad.if we want a sweetmeat we send to our confectioner. An Excellent Arithmetician. — School Inspector to urchinl—'.' !Nbw, Johnny, how many can you count ?" Johnny.—" One, two, three,-/four, fire,^ six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Inspector. — " Good Johnny; go on." Johnny (after a moment's thought).—" Jack, queen, ting, ace.".. Time foe All Things.—They would have had a religious revival in a certain town tho other week but for the way harnesses were cut up and horses shaved outside the church door while the preacher was starting J:he good work within. A man can't bo good after finding his horse's mane and tail cut off. Under such circumstances religion is about tho last thing a man feels like.— American paper. : Suspicious.—" Oh! your nose is as cold as ice," a Boston, father thought ho heard his daughter exclaim the other evening, as he was reading in the. next room. He walked in for an explanation, but the young-fellow was at one end of the sofa and the girl Jat the other, whilo both looked so innocent and unconscious that the old gentleman concluded that his ears had deceived him, and so retired from the scene without a word. VAljias.—"lt's well enough for you to name your boy Elias," said Aunt Hepzibah, ".but for gracious goodness' sake don't name him Alias, 'cause the Aliases is always a cuttin' up bad, Here's .Alias Jonp.s, Alias Brown, Alias Thompson, Alias One-eyed Jake, all been took up for robbin 1 an' stcalin'."