A G-eniai. Logician.—" I remember once calling upon a Spanish canon in his native town. I found hini at dinner, and he kindly invited me to join him. But, not being in very good health, I declined to drink a second glass of wine. ' What,' he said, .' don't you know the syllogism: "Qui bene bibit bene dormit: gui dormit non peceat; * gui non peccat salvatus erit?"' . ... • . I believe the syllogism was quite as' good and as sound thology as many of the dogmas which have pervaded scholastic theology."—Eecollectipns and Suggestions by Earl Eussell.
Mbs Veenon Bompboof Receives a Valentine.—" Judy's " readers may remember that the marriage last year between Major Bomproof (half pay) and a fair Virginia (wealthy) came about all through a valentine. Now the Major was all her fancy painted him for some time after the honeymoon. But latterly his Virginia has been much, alone. He says he is kept at his bothering club; Wicked major! How shall.Virginia reclaim her lost loye ? • Yes, she will again send, to herself a valentine, and thus excite his jealousy. .She'does. Does the major swear all sorts of rash things against the rash youth who thus dares, &c.'P "We shall see! " Vernon, darling, don't be angry, but I received this lovely valentine this morning. I'm sure I—l—l've no idea who-- " N.B.—-The major is deep in an interesting article on "Army Beform." (Aside) "Confound -! Angry, my own! There, there, calm your agitation, 'twas I who sent it to my little Popsywopsy!'' The wretch!— Judy.
The Country Skool Mom is invariably just about twonty-three years and six months old, and remanes rite thare for a term of years. She wears her hair either kut short or hanging around in ringlets, and is az precise in- all things az one of Fairbanks improved platform scales. She never laffs out loud, and seldum ever Smiles, but when she does, she does it accordin' to the rules laid down by Murray for speakin' out and pronouncing the Inglish language korrecktly. She is the Very essence of double extrackted propriety, and would rather be four years behind the fashions in. her dress and "bonnet than spel a word wrong, or parse a sentence inkorrectly. She keeps a scrap-book and an album, and would prefer rather to hare the autograff ov some milk-and-water poet than the name ot some good man to a sixty-days note.. The country skool mom seldom dies "an old maid; she gets married generally to sum man who haz but little edukashun, and he thinks (as hs ought to) that there ain't another such a larnt woman as his wife on the face of the earth. With all Ler precise phoqlishness, her pompous knowledge, her silly sentimentalism, and ncr almost' allwus mistaking manner} for matter, I respekt the country skool mom; she taught, me mi letters, she was pashunt, when I waz stupid, she soothed me when I was frackshus, and she often (good soul) gave me a titbit from her luncheon at noontime. May kind heaven strew some kind ov happiness in her pathway, for she iz paid poorly, worked hardly, and the stepmother to everybody's children; she never receives from the world any thing better than the most formal respekt.
Eotal Acquaintances.—A gentleman at Washington was requested on last "week by a friend to join him on a visit to the depot to witness the arrival of the King of the Sandwiches. " No, sir, not much," growled the gentleman. "Have you ever seen a king in your travels ? " inquired the friend, marvelling at his short answers. "Yes, sir," replied the gentleman, " I was once guilty of seeing three kings." Then, after a moment's pause, went on tosay: "And they cost me 150 dollars, sir. Those were war times, however." His friend suggested that he must have been in bad company. " Well, I don't know," says the gentleman. "I thought I was in pretty good company with three queens, another king and an ace spot; and nave never had any desire to see one of the royal family since." His friend saw the point. Said he passed and dhuffled off.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/THS18750517.2.22
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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1986, 17 May 1875, Page 4
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686Untitled Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1986, 17 May 1875, Page 4
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