DOMESTIC CONTENTIONS.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1978, 7 May 1875, Page 2

DOMESTIC CONTENTIONS.

' There are probably no two people, in the world who spend so much time, in „ contention as an average married couple, and it is a well-known' and, indeed, undisputed fact that, the weaker > party, as she is falsely, called, is almost inrariably the aggressor. Every; observer of the habits and manners of his species has noticed this, peculiarity. . The, almost universal desire on the part of mankind is to live in a state of peace, a. desire which, in so far as regards, domestic matters, he would be able to gratify were it not for the unfortunate inclination towards warfare on the part of womankind, which no effort of his is able to overcome. Men, therefore, are compelled to live in a ' state of armed neutrality unless they are satisfied, to yield .up their rights and privileges without striking a single blow in self-defence. There is not an our of the day or night at which a man should consider himself free from attack". On the domestic hearth there are always smouldering embers of contention which the breath ..the wife can fan at a moment's notice into a fierce flame. The wisest and most experienced, the most loving and longest married husbands, are unable to read the connubial barometer for a minute in advance. In the midst of the profoundest matrimonial calm, with a blue sky and the sun of love shining bright in the heaven of home, a little cloud, no bigger it may be than a woman's hand, appears on the horizon, and before we know where we are the storm is down upon, us, and then woe betide the man who meets it unprepared! There are some who think that safety is to be found in scudding with bare poles before the gale—who take in every stitch of canvas, and drift helplessly at the mercy, of their wives over the sea of troubles that rages around them —foolishly imagining that, whea the fury of the blast has exhausted itself, they will be able to steer back to the latitude they were driven from, and continue their course as if nothing had happened. But, as my subject is Domestic Contentions, and there must be two prepared to fight to make a quarrel, I will on the present occasion only refer to those cases where the man is prepared to offer an explanation and justify his conduct; or, as I might put it, in continuation of my metaphor, where he will endeavour to weather the storm. . . It must be distinctly understood that I do not wish to impute any blame to the woman when I say that she is usually the aggressor. Notwithstanding my sex, my sympathies are wholly with her. A wife is a man's physical conscience, whispering to him at all times how he should go, pointing out in the daylight the straight path, and upbrading him in the small dark hours of the night when he has chosen the crooked one. A wife, like a con- - science, may be very often disagreeable, but. I would as soon think of railing against one as the other.. The. mere a man's conscience pricks him the better he is for it, the more his wife scolds, him the less likely he is to go astray. ' i But we are a stubborn and stiff-necked sex. Though we know, that all she sayY A Is for our own good, we harden our hearts \ to her admonitions, and prefer the pleasures of our own choosing for a season—sinful thought they may often be —to suffering the affliction of being made good on compulsion. " Ah, gentle dames ! it gays me great To think how many couase!s sweet, - How mony lengthened saye advices,'. The husband fras the wuc despises ! " Not that he does actually despise them.. He affects to do so. He closes his ears and shuts his eyes, and pretendi that he neither hears nor sees, as she would wish him, but it may encourage wives to be told that their words are not wholly wasted, and that, struggle as they may and do at the time, husbands are insensibly affected by all their wives say. It depends, of course, on the besetting sin of the man, tke form of attack to which he is most subject from his wife. Every man has, at least, one pet vice, but he very frequently never finds it out till he marries. It is easy to see from this alone that marriage is a divine institution. The first step towards reformation and repentance is to be aware of our wicked* dess, and this knowledge an unhappy bachelor may never acquire. Por the same reason married men who consort with bachelors are much more hardened sinners than those who confine their friendship to their brother victims. It seems hard to bo told to sit on the stool of repentance for doing.thai which is lawful and right to tho follows we know best, and for this reason, ho doubt, disscntions are of frequent occurrence where ante-nuptial acquaintances are kept up. But no matter who a man knows* o* how ho endeavors to regulate his conduct, he is sure to be made awaro of fault* iii his progress through tho matrimonial tale that he had never before been aware of. The wife assumes the wholesome functions of the opposition in the domestic

scheme of government. She scrutinises with the jealous eye of affection every act of the head of the house; she watches his outgoings and incomings, .calls him to account for his mis-spent time, tables a resolution in the midst of 'a meal, or expresses want of confidence when her husband has just calmly laid his head on his pillow with the expectation of a few hours' recess from the cares of life. Married men, Ur fact, may be perfectly certain that they cannot continue to enjoy the sins of their bachelor days in peace. And therefore sinners who wish to remain m peace should remain unmarried. The ims of mankind are manifold. A want of-punctuality causes many men to be counted sinners who wouldn't otherwise have imagined it. Unfortunately, men are not born married. Before blossoming into husbands they must bud as bachelors, and in this stage of their existence: contract v many; of the pleasant " . wees for which they are afterwards given Halves as ministers and whips to sc»urge -^them. The want of punctuality, especially on matters relating to meals, is one of the most fruitful sources of domestic contention. There are some men who cannot be in time for meals. It is a; sort of constitutional infirmity with them, acquired in the dayi when they could get a dinner at any hour by paying for it; but which never, since the time when the angels ceased to intermarry with the sons of man, has been passed over without a row. f But, curiously enough", the desire on the part of the men for punctuality at other times is, a frequent cause of contention. As Charles Lamb excused himself for being the last man at his office desk by saying he was always the first to leave it, so many husbands, who have thrownjthe house into confusion by keeping dinners waiting half an hour, think they atone for their fault by being ready to the minute when they have to. go out with their wives in the evening. They only make .it worse. .Women, like men, contract bad habits-in their days of singleness, and one of the principal of these is the elaborate adornment of their persons. Where the husband can get ready in five minutes the •wife requires an hour, and he is thus. made to experience for 55 minutes all the aggravation of feeling that she endured while waiting for him to come home. It - would be impossible, under the circumstances, that either could lay their heads on their pillows that night or attempt to Bleep without.,giving vent to feelings which, however carefully expressed, will itt the end produce contention. : It must often be a matter of surprise to an ignorant bachelor how much married men stand from their wives. A bachelor • seea a man with tastes'and passions like himself; fond,, it may be, of certain pleasures of an innocent nature; good at whist or billiards; an admirer- of tHe stage; a critic of thei''opera:' Why does this man look at his watch in the middle of drabber? Why does he put down his cue when his hand is well in at billiards P ; Why does he keep away from the theatre, and regretfully decline to make one in' a party to the races ? Of course .he .is married, but then his wife can't" eat him. If he likes bis amuiement, and he doesn't attempt to "deny it, why in the .name of gbodness don't he take it ? • Simply, my ignorant * bachelor inquirer, because he loves his wife* ,1: Men get into a way of : loving- be- .-:. fore marriage that influences all their future- lives...-,•• Without loving they wouldn't stand for a day the contention that they are subject -to at home. . They struggle against the rod as _ all naughty boys do;:but in the end they kiss it, and bless their lucky stars that there :- ir; some-: one; in the /world to keep them straight. " They may profess not to;like it. They may '"get-into a corner and sulk, and while smarting Tinder their.; punishment contrast -their position with that of the lucky bachelors, and murmurvfor the flesh-pot existence ef their early days; but in the end better feelings prevail, and the husband goes to his wile, tells her that as usual she was right,': and; he was wrong; proffers the 1 kiss of peace, and is forgiven. And this is "the end 'of; nine' cases .out of ten, of domestic contentions. —Australasian;