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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1961, 17 April 1875, Page 4

Coblee and Last.—Croker pretended on one occasion to set the Duke of Wellington right as to some details relating to the battle of Waterloo, when the Duke shifted the conversation- to the subject of the percussion caps used in the army, upon which Croker again ventured to be learned and contradictory. This upset the Duke's patience, and he exclaimed, " Come, Crokeii I may not know mucb about Waterloo, but hang it, I should know something about copppr caps! "

Beef Tea—A Scotch minister was once ordered "'beef tea" by his physician. The next day the patient complained that it had made him sick. " Why minister," said the doctor, I'll try the tea mysel'." So, putting some in a skillet, he warmed it and tasted it, and told the minister it was excellent. "Man," says the minister, ;' is that-the way ye sup it ? " " What ither way should it be suppit? It's excellant, I say, minister." "It may be quid that way, doctor; but try it wi' the cream and sugar, man! try it wi' that and then see heo ye like it! "

"JSo' Aniihee Dbap."—la former days, when roads were bad and wheeled vehicles almost unknown, an old laird was returning from a supper patty, with his lady mounted behind him on horseback. On crossing the river Urr the old lady dropped off, but was not missed till her husband reached his door. The party who were despatched in quest of her arrived just in time to find her remonstrating with the advancing tide which trickled into her mouth, in these words, " No' anither drap, neither het nor cauld ! "

Cometh Up—Not Lnp: a Floweb.— A friend who is so fond of gardening (says a contemporary) as to have established a hanging garden on his balcony in Marfair has related his experience. "My sister," he said, " gave me some »eeds. I planted them and watered them every morning for a month, as I had been directed to do. Now, what do you think came up?" " Thistles P Daisies ? Cauliflowers?" "No." "What then?" " A Policeman, who informed me that, if I persisted in spoiling tho hats of peaceable people, I should be indictea for a nuisance."