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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1954, 9 April 1875, Page 4

The Emperor of China, who has just died at the age of 18, furnishes a text for The Daily Telegraph upon which to write * gushing leader. An article in Thursday's issue thus begins : —" His poor little Majesty, Toai-shun Ai-sin Eioh-lo Tung-chi, Jtmperbr of China, has departed this life. His Majesty was Tientsye, or Son ot Heaven, and, as Foreign Devils must be aware, First Cousin of the Moon and Brother to the Sun." After s little more of this celestial language, the writer gravely hints that the BoyEmperor wasi killed with ceremonies. '•' Except when quite hidden from view, this hapless little potentate did not dare to lean back, or sneeze, or scratch himself, or cough or laugh. His wives were lately chosen for him by competitive examination and strictest rule,^with which, as with all else, he had nothing whatever to do ; and, through the Edicts which he signed with the vermillion pencil and power of life and death over a third of mankind, he himself owned none even to drink when he was thirsty, except according to the tremendous ' Book of Ktiquette.' Gold Stick in Waiting on a Court day, in point of fact, is a free-and-easy personage compared with the private hours of the wretched young man whom Chinese ceremonies have killed so prematurely. Probably the first bed in which Jbe has ever slept comfortably since the shadow of Mongal empire fell upon him is the quiet, easy, grave." Simon Beveridge, apoor hand-loom weayer in Bishopbriggs had the misfortund to be allied to a very bad wife—in fact a perfect randy. In all his troubles, however, he had Always the sympathies of his only son Jamie, and many a conversation the two had on the .evil habits and temper of their relative.. " Father," the son would say* when an extra "row" j would occur, clinna vex yoursel about that mither o' mine." One day Mrs Beveridge went " ower the tow" altogether, and f imon, nearly broken-hearted, said to his friend and comforter—Jamie, Jamie, what think ye o' that wife o'mine this morning ! is she no an awfu' heavy handfu' for any body to hae, let alane puir me?" "Deed is she, Father " said Jamie—" Is't no a pity, man, that ye didna marry Jenny Trains when you could hae gotten for the asking—sic a mither she wad hae been! •*Ou, ay, Jamie my man" replied the unhappy Simon, " it tc wad hae been a'ways, but what maun be, maun be." " Weel, weel, Father," said the sympathetic son, " gin ye say that, we maun just jouk and let the jaw ga.e by, but between oursels, I really think we happened on an ill barbargain when we got her."—Glasgow Herald. A little Vermont girl called at a drug store, and said:—" My mother wants ten cents' worth of jumps." This astonished the clerk. The child insisted that it was jumps she was sent for, but returned to her mother for further instructions. Very Boon she came baok and laid itwui hops that ihe wantod.