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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1936, 18 March 1875, Page 3

A'; wtjj r pne" day; asked his rfriqnd, " How many knaves'you suppose are in this, 1 besides v yourself?"— Besides*, myself !'' replied the other, in a passion : "do you mean ,to insult -me ?"—Well", then," replied the first, "how many do !y©u reckon, including yourself?" An usher had been explaining to his class the points of the compass; and when all were drawn up in front towards the north asked, "Now, what is before you, John?—" The north, sir."—"And what behind you, Tommy ?''—" My coat-tail, sir," said he, trying at the same time to get a glimpse of it. A quaint writer says :— ■' I hare seen women so delicate tbat they were afraid to ride for fear of the horse running away ; afraid to sail for fear the boat might upset:; afraid to walk, for fear the dew might fall; but I never saw one afraid to be married, which is far more riskful than all the others put together." .■ *" . " You told me, neighbour Twist, when I paid Tim in advance, on his promising to work for me in.hay making time," that I should find him as good as his word."— " To be sure I did, for I always knew his word was good for nothing." A'story is tol<| in Paris; of a son of M. * Bixio. ''This eminent man was for a short time incarcerated in the fortress of Vincennes, after the coup d'etat. His wife, accompanied by one of her sons, went to see him. They dined together in his chamber. The son was extremely sad and taciturn during dinner, and at last attracted his father's attention. "Why, my dear boy, what is the matter ? "— "Nothing, father, 3' : replied the lad of eleven.—" Nonsense ; I see something is the matter with you. Come, tell me what itis ? "—The boy blubbered," Why, pa, I am so d.sappointed. I made sure of seeing you in a dungeon, chained to a wall, and you ain't" . : A special correspondent got into difii--culties recently while crossing the republican lines in Spain. He had no passport, but luckily found a bill in his pocket from Poole, the tailor—paid of course. In despair ho produced the document, which has, : as is well known, various imperial and royal arms on .the heading. The official was much puzzled, he ask eel for the meaning of the figures—asked by - pantomine—and was answered in panto- , mine, that they were the correspondent's ', measurements. The correspondent then pointed, to the penny receipt stamp and signature on it, which was atlasticbnsidered sufficient evidence of an official character. . , •'•-.'.'

Speaking of the .item of English news which states that sorre excellent* printicg paper has been manufactured in England from a parcel of Australian papyrus sent some months agOj the sample being valued, at £&0 , per '~iiml ths> Portltfnd Guardian! tohserves :— •♦The 'papyrus' here mentioned, and from which some excellent paper has been manufactured, was forwarded to London by Mr R. Baqpmb, Qfr^be? firm ,of.,Pacopib;,and Co., Portland^ arid file diicovery promises to introduce a new paper-making industry in this district, where the** material is widely distributed, that will make up for the loss of the bark traded now almost exhausted. Mr ftacomb informs us that there are 17 varieties of the papyrus in the dis rict, from .nilor any of which paper can: bey-made, an-i as the quality of the manufactured papsr is superior to^hat .made; from esparto gras*; it. is ,h«rd ta|pla|e*a limit 'to the-laboV which Uhe new* ■industry will'at once call'into play. The; papyrus here has hitherto been regarded as; a nuisance—a weed of no commercial value; science, as in-wany, ? other* cases, ha«- gome to; the lescue, ja|dftb)s^anjf;nQ>wJpjomises to; yield a"superior paper, for which the demand! is practically unlimited." , Of all the strange freaks ever committed by I a drunken ? person, tlie most strange -surely; (says Jthe n A.rg'us) 1 was'that performed by a - woman at the Suprtme Court. The woman, \ who certainly well bore out the deecriotion of j a constable as " suffering from the effects of liquor/'r^ent;int6Jth!B7wo6deji s¥ed thatMs attached to the gaol wall at the rear of the Supreme Court, ajnd there doited herself of every article of clothing, and in that condition marched deliberately ( for A the judges' cham-; bers, which are situated almost immediately opposite.^ ri Eortu t Qßtely-^she was^ observed before she* gamed [' admission; and was given ie to.the charge of a constable. She was taken back to the shed, and her dress huddled on her with more despatch than skill, and she was then takeffip^hf^|y;^>|ice-court, where the bench ismtti^§^tiiic^pv twenty-four hours. Her appearance when before the court was almost 'extraordinary dne. Her olothes had been put on without the least symptom of the tire-wo man's art, or even with fcny attempt at the proper order. All that-could be,jseen -was a iwild-l^pkicfg face peeping out from a mass of dishereilod hair, and a bundle of miscellaneous female wearing apparel.