ODDS AND ENDS.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1930, 11 March 1875, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

Cabby's " Little Way."—lllustrative of the "little ways" of some of the London cabmen, a contemporary relates that a well-known essayist, on arriving one day at Victoria Station, asked to be driven to St. James-street. Cabby mistook him for a foreigner, and drove him this way and that—round by Sloanestreet, up by Park-lane, and again round by Holborn, Chancery-lane, the Strand, and Pall Mall. " What a funny dog you are !" said the passenger to cabby, on getting out, as he handed him a shilling. The credit is awarded to cabby of having seen the joke, and grinned at his own expense. Mr J. T. Fields says, in one of his lectures, that the extravagant, indolent man who, having overspent his income, is sumtuously living on the principal, is like Heine's monkey, who was found one day hilariously seated by the fire and cooking his own tail in a copper kettle for dinner. A sign on Broadway reads: "Potatoes for sail hole sale and retpil.'' One on the city market reads : " Hickre nuts for sail." an intelligent old bore, who invades Our sanctum occasionally to get the news in advance, read the above in manuscript, and said he did not see any joke in it, except that the fellow had spelt •' nuts" with one t.—Albany Press.

Standing Akmies.—Some one was remarking to Lord Palmerston that we needed no standing army, because, if we were invaded, the people would "rise up as one man. He made answer, "Yes, and they would be knocked down as one man."

Love of Cottntby.—A Western stump orator, in the course of one of his speeches, remarked, " Gentlemen, if the far«sy-fix Ocean wor an inkstand, and the hull clouded canopy of heaven and the level ground of cur yeanh wor a sheet of paper, I couldn't begin to write my love of country onto it." Lord John Russell was once accused in the House of Commous of falling back on the*' cant of patriotism." The accuser was a man who. having originally been a Liberal, had deserted his party and turned lory. Lord John, in the course of his reply, coldly said,'• I quite agree with the honourable baronet that the ' cant of patriotism ' is a bad thing, but ,1 hardly nee remind him that there is something worse—the re-cant of patriotism."

One day the minister of a Scotch village, who on Sundays was more indebted to his manuscrit than his memory, called unceremoniously at a cottage whilst , its occupant, a pious parishioner of the old school, was engaged in reading a chapter of one of the prophets. "Weel, John," familiarly inquired the clerical visitant, " what is>that you are about?" "I am propbesyin'," was the prompt reply. "Prophesying!" exclaimed the astounded divine. " I doubt ye mean reading a pro phecy." " A weel,' argued the rustic, " gif readin' a preachin', isna readin' a prophecy prophesyin' ? " Rev Tunis Titus Kendrick says he doesn't beleive dancing is a sin; but we suppose he never had, a Cincinnati lady tread on his toes.—-Chicago Inter-Ocean.

Not to be Fobestalled.—A Transatlantic paper remarks •—" The rumour that the Pope contemplates sending over a cardinal's hat to America has inspired Father White, of St. Matthew's, with the happy thought of transmitting his number—9f—by the cable*'* Jones says that why he isn't married is because that when he wooed she wouldn't.