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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1922, 2 March 1875, Page 2

Appealing to the Audience.—When Dickens was last in America, giving readings, his agent, Mr Dolby, unconsciously caused a great deal of amusement by sending out some advertisements in these' exact words:-—" The reading will be comprised within two minutes, and the audience are earnestly entreated to be seated ten hours before its commencement.'* He had transposed the minutes and the hours. An # engineer on the Western North Carolina Eailroad shouted to a crowd of rustics who had gathered to see the first train of cars come in, " Put down your umbrellas ; you'll scare the engine off the track !" The umbrellas were lowered at once. Charles the 11. playing at tennis with a dean, who struck the ball well, the king said "That's a good stroke for a dean, " I'll give it the stroke of a bishop if your majesty pleases," was the suggestive rejoinder. ' " Enough of it:" Country Squire— " By George, Tom, you.re gone and shot the dog 1" Friend_(from the town)^LO, I say, old fellow, let's go. back andjiave CT-. game o' billiards; or else I'm quite sure I shall shoot tjie other one! They keep getting in they way so." Going into the office in Doctors' Commons where all the wills are kept, a countryman was surprised to see such a number of largo volumes, and inquired if they were Bibles. "No, sir," replied one of the clerks, " they are testaments."