THE ETIQUETTE OF GRIEF.

Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 1892, 26 January 1875, Page 3

THE ETIQUETTE OF GRIEF.

To commence with the deepest mourning— tl^a* of a widow. The dress of paramaßa, entirely covered with crape to within J^i inch or two of the..waia't, the crape Being in one piece, not in two, but must come up equally high. The body is entirely covered with crape : the sleeves are made close''fitting, and deep lawn cuffs and a lawn collar are worn. The distinctive cap is worn for a year and a day. The outdoor dress must have a jacket or mantle of paramatta, heavily trimmed with crape—neither fur nor velvet is admissible; the bonnet crape, with a widow's cap and a crape veil with a deep hem. After a year silk heavily trimmed with crape may oe worn for six months, rafter which the crape may be lightened considerably, and jet trimmings are admissible; after nine months plain black can be worn, After two years mourning may be laid aside, but it is better taste to wear half-mourn-ing for some months, Cards returning thanks for kind inquiries imply a willingness to see those to whom they are sent, so the proper time for sending them m.ust vary according to individual feeling. They should not, however, be sent before six months have elapsed. Of course, during the first year a widow can accept no invitations, and should frequent no public places ; but after the year is past she may gradually return to society. The next degree of mourning is that of children for their parents, which;is,of the same duration as that of parents for a child, namely, one year. For three months paramatta, or some similar material heavily trimmed with crapej should be worn with lawn collars and cuffs; for the next three silk, with slightly less crape, the same collars and cuffs. After six months crape is laid aside, and plain black is worn for one month; black ornaments and gloves should be worn, after which, g01d.,, diamonds, silver, pearls and grey gloves sewn with black are admissible. After nine months, nalf-mourning is quite correct. No society should be indulged in for two months, after that ordinary habits may, be gradually resumed. But crape is out of place at balls, so they snould be avoided jvhiie it i? worn. A wife wears mourning for her husband's relatives precisely as she would for her owii. "Six ■ months is the proper period of mourning for a a brother or sisterthree months in crape, two in black, and ohe-in half-inourning.. For an uncle or auiat, iiiece or nephewj! three months is is the -period* and no crape is worn; at aIL No invitation'? should be ;aiccepted until after the funeral. For a first cousin, six weeks, three of v which may be slight;! ; ;It^ is 'riot' compulsory to wear mourning for a second cousin at all; if, however, he or she has been an intimate friend, three weeks is a sufficiently long period. These exhaust the degrees of absolute relationship, but there are other cases where mourning is compulsory; such for instance is the case of a mother with a married son or daughter J if either of them lose their father or mother-in-law the mother wears black, not crape, for six weeks, and slight mourning for six weeks more. In the case of a man who has lost his first wife and married again, it is customary, if either of the parents of the first wife die, for the second wife to wear slight mourning for three months, more especially if there should be any children by the firs I marriage; this. is not compulsory, but it is usual and in good taste. The second wife, hoiVrever, is not expected to wear mourning for any of the other relatives of her predecessor.—The Queen.