"LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1887, 20 January 1875, Page 3

"LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

One of the bores of newspaperdoin is the daily procession of chaps who march into the editional rooms, just after the adjournment of the police court, with the request, " Please leave my name out of your police reports," and" accompanying said request with explanations which prove that the fellows are among the most gifted liars in tlieapiverse. It is useless to tell them thatlnpertain way to prevent the dreaded ptttnication is to behave themselves respectably—in they come fight on time next morning with freshlyblackened eye® and battered hats, and with the same plaintive petition or to ask that we falsify the police records as to the character of the offence or penalty inflicted. This is becoming monotonous, and unless there is an early change we shall feel it necessary to adopt the western style of corrections of which the following paragraphs are samples :-rCorrection.—: The Mr Snoozer, arrested for being drunk on the streets, is not Mr Snoozer the fish pedlar. The latter gentleman gets drunk in his own house,, believing that intoxication, like charity^ begins at home. Js'ot the man.—The name of Mr U .No appeared in our police court yesterday, charged with stealing a baby waggen. This is not Mr U No, our well-known bridge tenderer. He wouldn't stoop to steal a babby waggon, though it wouldn't be safe to leave a circus chariot or a freight train laying around where he could get his hands on it. Amende Honorable—Our local columns yesterday contained an account of the elopement of a gay Lothario of this town named Stiggins, with the wife of a well-to-do farmer in a neighbouring county. And now comes Stiggins, the plasterer, to say it isn't him. Stiggins' wife is sitting in a buggy in front of our ofr'ce, and, after a cursory glance at her, we are pre pared to say that we wouldn't blame Stiggins if he did run away. She must be a living and constant provocation to skeddadle. All right, Stig ; it is another man this time, but if you get a chance to elope with a good-looking woman our advice is to "git." Give the Devil His Due;—Pluguglie, who runs a saloon on thetowpath, called this morning to say that he is not the Pluguglie who beat and robbed a countryman at a late hour on Wednesday night. We are bound to believe him, but at the same time we must say that we wouldn't like to encounter this particular Pluguglie alone at a late hour of the night with any valuables about us. '-It robbery, murder, and sudden death are not written on his countenance, we don't want a cent.—Hartford post ". ■■■■■ ;::::/•■'.. ■.: ■.-;- ': ■