A FULL, TRUE AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF THE Transit of Venus, AS OBSERVED AT THE UNHAPPY CREEK OBSERVATORY.

Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1858, 16 December 1874, Page 2

A FULL, TRUE AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF THE Transit of Venus, AS OBSERVED AT THE UNHAPPY CREEK OBSERVATORY.

, —» To the Editor of the EvekihS Stab.

Sib,—-With a painful consciousness of the frailty of men; aud women in general, and your special reporters in particular, we beg to present our account of the transit of Veuus. . 2 This account only is genuine, and defies all honest competition—price 6d. Please open at this end. To be procured of all respectable grocers, &c. But enough—more of this anon. v Possibly you may remark that if it had been sent earlier it would have been more gratifying to yourself and the reading part of the Thames public. Quite true; but that man proposes (sometimes) and that the Goddesses dispose—may possibly bo no news to you—no news is good news. Be happy and patient—if you can. Wo entertain a hope, feeble though it may be, that your intelligence will grasp the stats of affairs when we hint as delicately as we can, that,we are not the first, and (consolatary thought) shall not be the tftfstJfor whom Venus and the Sup- hare Been-too much. ')•£-■ This is our apology. Now let's to business; and they let. Possibly you apprehend from the foregoing that a failure was the result of "our taking;" if so, you are mistook. We " fetched her, my boy! or rather our Seven did., But this jubilant strain is premature, also unseemly. Here is our report.. We reached Professor Seven's grounds exactly at 12.15 a.m., Dec. 9th, 1874. This, mdi

cated zeal on our part, also a belief on the part of my partner (in which I bad no share) in tjbe "early bird." I also' deprecated this etrly moTement, but weight carried the day, He weighs 18 stone; I weigh 10 stone. This argument was a clincher. We immediately formed ourselves into corps dobservation, and took up suitable positions. His was the stronger party a priori et fortitri reasons. We observed diligently. We saw no early birds, no Venuses (many of whom reside in the neighborhood), we' noted strawberries. We were refreshed. Honi soit gui mal y pense. We compared chronometers, which had been previously timed by Major Charrnher, and received by the new lineman's telegraph, specially erected for this purpose. We found them both, about to strike. Here was a dilemma. However, strong in our integrity, we persevered-rthty did not strikel • Daybreak occurred at this point: it was evident that the balance of power must be restored; •

We observed Professor Seven; he observed . us, and retired; manners prompted the same action on our side. I rue merit is always retiring. We rallied and advanced; relying on our, chronometers, and on all-fours,.: Jack,and the game, we won. The Professor warmly welcomed us, saying in seven. languages at once, "Euchered by.the holy poker." Our hearts, warmed to him.

We will not describe the Profesior's Observatory, or his numerous instruments ; you know all about it—everybody does; he made it all himself, even he himself is self-made ; ■ wonderful, isn't it ? For years past kerosene tins and sich hare been at a premium hereabouts; but now this is all changed, plenty reigns. Happy Creek, plenty tin, plenty children, very noisome. .

The select circle of friends whose valuable services the Professor desired for this important event had been sum* moned by circular letters. These also were the work of his own hands, the fruit of his lathe, and finished with beautifully turned periods. The select circle war charmed, so also were their instruments of precision which they brought with them; (carriage paid to any part of the Thames, and warranted t» light only on the box.) The members invited and present were— Messrs Smiler and Mollis, the former

bringing with him a trying amount of palaver; the latter Dr Brewer's Guide to Science, Jand Webster's Dic'ionary, These being two* were at once passed by the Professor, who is always very ready as well as willing. They were placed in charge of the chronometers (which wero furnished with a patent escapement in case of fire). They watched and shewed

no signs of fear; this was.encouraging, and we all hoped. !

Mr" Drencher brought I with him his " fountain of delights," which would plat when anybody could be got to play with it This also wa> made by himself. He also brought an apology from his partner, Mr Tyndhall, who, " abandoning all disguise, did not conceal from them" that, for him, there was a counter attraction

at home. He sent his best'wishes for

the, success of the undertaking, and for-? warded a croquet set, knowing hew successful it was in securing a view of bodies celestial.

Associate-i with Mr Drencher was one of the Burgesses of the town, who had been thoroughly schooled for his part; i hey were ut once placed in a dark room, fitted up with every convenience for re* flection, in which they' were at once absorbed. Mr Beach.and Mr Outwood were directed to raise the^ wind~tbey commenced to' whistle, Hoen, assisted by Inspector Silversmith, with his guage corrected up to LOO lbs pressure, presided at the piano. . Everything being ready; a start was made at 12.30 p.m., Professor Seven in the Van, fares being reduced. He had a fine insight into the Solar system—it was not disarranged in the slightest: this was as it should be. The fountain

played of its own accord; the chronome* ters were on tick ; the dark room looked

darker than ever; the guage firmly

fixed on Professor Hoen's instrument shewed a pressure of 50 lbs, and still rising. The croquet set was handy, and the ropes were being properly pulled (everything depends on getting hold of them right) when Professor Seven's youngest and favorite X tap gave notice that there wag something in the wind: it proved to be a communication from Major Charmer, and delivered itself as follows to slow music :—" Venus is in for it, so am I— just a glimpse and nothing more; wish you better luck." We were delighted— our delight was more intense when the XXX tap was served out all round. The only interruption to the harmony of the meeting was caused bj MrMollis' Sirsisting in turning up " glimpse " in s Webster." - Everything now showed that a crisis was coming. The crisis soon came. The favorite one-tap, again indicated something in the air. This time it seemed different. The Professor seized the opportunity, and sternly put the question, " Wkb's;"::darP " "It s only I, said a voice. Air by the band—" My Mary Ann." "Name," said the Professor, who never sticks at trifles; "Consult your • spect her,'" said the voice. "We consulted :— We detected a limb—it took up the whole of the mirror. We could not identify the whole from the part, it was teVtondus. We gave it up. " UMmtf^ tfiere? " anxiously put this time. *^o»,"- f----said we all encouragingly. " 'Tis well," said the voice. " Know then, mortals, I am your Polly -Plum- I have risen since Ileft you. My circle is enlarged. Up here I amilknown as Venus; but I shall fondly watch over you. Note this day, and the tour, and fortune is yours. Adieu!" •■■.■_■■.."