The teacher of an infant srehool had her attention called to one little fellow who was not listening to what she had said. She had been teaching her class the elements of an English history, and, wishing to see if he knew what she had been talking about, she suddenly asked, "Johnny, who killed King Eufus?" "With a surprised look he replied, " Why, I didn't know he was dead! "
A young gentleman who had spent a little of his own time and a good deal of his father's money in preparing for the Bar, was asked, after his examination, how he had succeeded. " Oh, well," said he —" I answered one question right." "Ah, indeed," said the old gentleman with a look of paternal satisfaction at his son's smartness ; " and what was that?" "They asked me what a gui torn action was." "That was a hard question ! And you answered it correctly, did you ?" " Yes—l told them I did not know."
A Life insurance man in St Louis is in the habit of getting himself on to juries when business in his line is dull. Then he hangs on with his consent to a verdict, until everyone of the jury is insured in his company. ]M en of ten admit that they suffer from tight boots, but did you ever hear a lady confess as much ? No; she would suffer agonising tortures and jefc walk along mincingly, as if her shoes were " just the very thing." Brown was asked by the editor of a new paper that had started in the town to ■end him " something from his pen," so Brown got one of his young porkers and sent it to the editor.
An Indianapolis gentleman's claim for divorce is based on thejground that, when he married, four weeks ago, hi?/wife's hair was black, but now it is red enough to entitle her to the front rank in a torchlight procession. "If you are courting a girl/ says a Californian paper, " stick to her, no matter how large her father's feet are." " What a pity it is," said a lady to Garrick, " that you ara not taller." " I should be happy, indeed, madam," replied Garrick, "to be higher in your estimation." '
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/THS18741114.2.14
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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1831, 14 November 1874, Page 3
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370Untitled Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1831, 14 November 1874, Page 3
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