Untitled

Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1789, 26 September 1874, Page 3

Sagey.—A contemporary tells of an undertaking " wisely abandoned before it was begun." A Stbange Doctrine.—Worthy doctor.—"l say, William, isn't that where the rats come from ? " William. — " Aye, sir that it be, too ; just this bit of hole here, tir. But you leave it to me, sir; I'll doctor 'em." Worthy Doctor.— " H'm; how do you mean ?'' William. — "Why, kill em, sir, to be sure."-—Fun.

Don't Wake Him. —A client called on Mr. Webster to employ him to argue a cause of importance. Mr. Webster asked who wai on the other side, and the client answered, "A sleepy-looking lawx&v named Wood." "Well," Mr. ■Ranter replied, "if George Wood is employed against yon and is asleep, be very careful not to wake him." LtJXUBiOTTS.—A luxurious youth of New York, whose forte ii laziness, recently made up his mind to go to California in quest of gold. But when he learned that it was not to be picked up already coined, he concluded that there -was too much labor attached to the business, and has abandoned the idea. Although his mother is getting along in years, he says she can still do a fair day's washing, and he'll live with her awhile yet.

, Obitttabt of the Future. —The St. Louis Globe speculates concerning the obituary of the future. We append one or two specimens:—Charles Pupker ; 3flb.; cremated July 9,1872. For wife of above see third pickle^ bottle on next shelf. Little Tommy, burnt up September 16, 1862. Jane Matilda Perkins, October 3,1869. Put up by the Alden Corpse Cremating Company. None genuine without signature.