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Thames Star, Volume IIII, Issue 1728, 17 July 1874, Page 2

"Business!"— Bath Chairman: "Is" pose the Duke of Edinboro' and his misses will be by drectly!" Policeman: ■" No, they won't. They ain't in town." Bath Chairman: " Ain't they ? I say, if that old lady in my t'ohair asts you, say • you don't ( now, * 'cause she's a waitin' to see'em, and I'm engaged by the hour! " —Punch. ' • , ■ A California^ Abtist.—Virgil Williams, the artist, is arrived in town. Visitors to the art gallery ot Woodward's Gardens will regard his advent with some apprehension. And so, for that matter, will visitors at the Fair ; the few weeks of the exhibition will be amply sufficiei*for this gentleman to knock osi a half acrTof landscape to afflict us. He possesses some merit as an artist, but it-is hard to tell whether it lies in landscape or marine painting; you never can tell his cows from his ships, except when they hare their tails exalted, when the absence of spars betrays their character. ' Even, then they may be mistaken for schooners scudding under bare poles.—San Francisco ' News-letter. • _ .- Ovbe Zealous. —It is related that the sexton of a church, having to be away from his duties one day, got a substitute who was not acquainted with the congregation, and who became much excited when lie saw an old man come into one of the pews and raise a peculiarly-shaped ear-trumpet to his face. Springing to his side,' he said something in a low voice; whereupon the gentleman endeavoured to raise the trumpet to his ear, .but was., prevented by the sexton seizing his hand. With increased voice and'excitement he ; said, " You miisn't, sir—you musn't blow that horn in here. If you do I; stall be obliged to put you out." -And.title good old man,' pocketing his bugle, heti£., nothing of service or sermon. ' , . :