ON WHITE BELL-TOPPERS.

Thames Star, Volume III, Issue 1684, 27 May 1874, Page 2

ON WHITE BELL-TOPPERS.

Why do white bell-toppers invariably increase as money decreases P Can anybody tell me? I'm a colonial of some experience, and, my heart alwaya fails me when I pet among a community where the gentlemen are in large numbers provided with this species of white hat. " Oh," think I, to myself, " here's a place where all the money is locked up in the the hands of a few men, and everybody else is trying to look as much like one of the few men as they know how." I know at «nee that sharebrokers are far more plentiful than payable shares ; and if I have the money, or can .persuade anybody to lend it to me, I leave. Just now I haven't the money, and can't raise it, or even the price or a bell-topper : sol am bound to stay for a bit. So soon as I manage to beg, borrow, or steal a pound, I shall invest in a white hat, a note-book; and a pencil, and I shall rush frantically. about from broker to broker, and I shall not have a moment to bestow on the moat intimate acquaintance unless he proposes an adjournment into some " pub " convenient to " the verandah." Then, if its worth while to be seen in his company, it may suit me to know him, but aa I shall speedily be acquiring the roputation of a pushing and prosperous man, I -shall have, to be careful. My efforts will be rewarded, if not with money enough to seek some sylvan shore, unpervadedby belltoppers, at least with credit and a little loose cash, and I can live on the fat of the land, and play billiards, and do the heavy. You must see, my dear friends,, only one thing is needed to start in this enviable line of business —the cash to buy a white bell-topper. :■■■,■- . , ,• • «;^; ' COWTM,