THE BOROUGH" SWEEPS."

Thames Advertiser, Volume VII, Issue 1850, 5 September 1874, Page 3

THE BOROUGH" SWEEPS."

Foe Home Eeidee3 Only. (introductory.) To tho Editor of tho Thames Advertiser. Sib,-" York," " Eed Cap," and " Run • boy" having joined tho Thames. Broker's Association, are prohibited .from taking their usual part* in the electioneering business of the district, by a rule of the said B. Ass., to the effect that "any broker following any other occupation for a livelihood shall cease to be a member;" and although "York" may urge that his action is pro bono publico, that august body have no conception of the possibility of one performing a duty under the customary toll, one and a-quarter. The presiding genius of the nest, with the wisdom of a long line of owls beaming in his face, would decree a fine to the individual broker who dared to

transgress the rule. As the Society is very select and very lucrative (the entrance-fee is five guineas -just a crown more than that of the London Stock

Exchange-and tho commission for the week was a divide of 2-2-d). The fines imposed are enormous (they fined " York" 20s for attempting to set them right when they were wrong). To keep within the laws, and avoid all pains and penalties, I have been deputed to make the usual humble and homely remarks and observations upon the performers and their actions on this interesting occasion, and to open the public eye so that they may see and judge for themselves who are the best and the fittest candidates to be

trusted with the public money. There are six candidates; each candidate has got a horso (hobby), consequently there will be six "nags" run for this great and valuable borough sweep.

THE EACE Will come off on Thursday, tho 10th day of September, and will be under the distinguished patronage of the Lady Maire, W.Davies, Esq., O,L,D, H.O.S.S; Sir Fitz C. Dean, Barrow Knight; Sir James Craig, Hammer Knight; Sir High Dudgeon, ditto; Alderman Ehrenfried,B,R,l,C,K,Ohimneysweepand Poundkeeper; OounciU'em Doodle'em Butt, E,M,P,T,Y; Counsellor Kenshaw, S.E.hVSA.W; LordJohnßenedictßrown, M.P.0., E,X,T,I,N,G,l T I I,S,H ) E,D; Count-sillerWilson,A,lT,T,o,M,A,T,o,N; theEev.Lawyer Hill; P. Londergan, A,O; the Very Rev. and Spiritual Father Mac Hillone; A. Brodie, C,O.A,L,S; the members of the Thames Hospital Committee and all the Brokers. Beforo making any romark on the above galaxy of names I desire the attention of the public eye while I " fork out," out of his shell, the Political Periwinkle that at-

tempts to hide his identity under the borrowed nom de plum of" Union Jack." He is a candidate for a seat in tho Borough Council. He describes himself as "Wainui." I got a Maori

to interpret this, and it means big water, all water, or something of that sort in tho original tongue —in plain English it means spouting waterpot. He is evidently suffering very much from water on the brain. Had I been at the christening of the " bumboat," I should have called it Hau-pu-wai, which, being translated, means windy water. In the heightof his infatuation he believes himself to be a " cutter," while the simple truth is that it is only a ricketty dung barge that meets the public eye. He tries to be severe on the pilot who steered free gratis for nothing his miserable dug-out into the Provincial Council port. Mr

William Carpenter, M.P.0., will wish he had been a drowned periwinkle beforo I have done with him. He is fond of vegetables ; I will give him a feed of beans. The youthful Maire, Mare, or Mayor - according to fancy—will be coached on the course by the gallant protector of widows' rights and rates, Sir F. O. Dean. Seeing that this worthy is the Town Clerk, the Mayor, the Council, the Valuator, the Engineer, in.fact, tho everything in the Borough, I think it would pay the burgesses to dispense with tho other municipal paraphernalia. It is tho only means I see of getting rid of the costly incubus styled the Mayor and Corporation. The bloated municipal aristocrats have voted the Mayor a salary of £150 a yoar. And what doos he do with it p.—entertain the Borough's visitors, clothe tho naked, or feed tho hungry ? No; tho Welshman's charity begins at home, and he buys for himself a freehold allotment next the Town Clerk's just round the corner there, where the treeplanting is going on. I thought at first it was a ne.v scientific discovery, and'that they were sowing telegraph poles, but ]

was soon let into the secret. They are only embellishing tho Borough, and providing perches for tho nine Municipal jackdaws to roost upon. I think the Borough bloaters might have waited till wo had buried provincialism quietly in Mowick before they lined the Mayoral pockets with the ratepayers' money. Ha! lam just reminded that I have an invitation to ludcli with the immortal chief To Hira at the Governor Bowen. I'm off. On Monday I purpose letting in a little daylight upon the proceedings of tho Hospital Committee, so that the public eye may see what's the matter.

A Party bv. the Name of Johnson.