THE Thames Guardian AND MINING RECORD. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1871.

Thames Guardian and Mining Record, Volume I, Issue 67, 23 December 1871, Page 2

THE Thames Guardian AND MINING RECORD. SATURDAY , DECEMBER 23, 1871.

The public atlargclmvc no idea-whatever of “ how we arc governed.” If they had the faintest conception of the truth we are convinced they would at once rebel against the huge imposture known as the New Zealand Government. The number of Colonels, Majors, and Captains to be met with at every street corner, billiard-room, hotel, club, and public office in Wellington during the session, and we suppose still more so during the recess when obtrusive members are not about, passes belief. A staid civilian would imagine that the Colony contained nothing but soldiers, else these sons of Mars could have no possible occupation in the martial line. But some how, they do mysteriously find employment, and receive high salaries, and look upon the plodding colonists who butter their bread, as a very vulgar set of creatures indeed. These gallant fellows are to be found acting as committee clerks when not otherwise attached to the public service, and of course look forward to regular employment through friends at head quarters. Bad ’.s this may be, however, it is not worse than the state of things which exist in the regular army, for that New Zealand maintains a large standing army on paper is beyond a doubt. In one place we find a not over-wise exsubaltern of cavalry dubbed a lieuten-ant-colonel, and entrusted with the command of the infantry, volunteers and militia of the district. This gentleman is a large figure at a review. He is utterly unfitted for the command entrusted to him, but as military loafers are objects of paternal solicitude by the Government, lie receives a salary at double the rate of pay allowed by the Imperial Government for the colonel of an infantry regiment. Elsewhere throughout the Colony may be seen majors commanding districts, who have “ won their spurs ” through political intrigue or undisguised toadying “ the powers that be,” but who are innocent of their duties, and could no more take command of a battalion on parade than they could Hv without wings. These home made soldiers, are also highly paid, their work being performed by the sergeantinstructors provided by the Government to compensate in some measure for the incompetence of the commanding officers. Altogether the military caste has become like the Civil Service, a “ great institution ” in New Zealand. “ They toil not, neither do they spin,” and yet they appear sleek and well fed, and shine with resplendent lustre at balls and parties. Here they are rpiite at home:— “ The wlhsker’il votary of waltz and war, His night devotes, despite of spurs ami boots.

They arc equally at home at a picnic or dinner party, always supposing they are not called upon to pay. But the country may be well excused for inquiring whether it is for such services as these, that they are so highly taxed. We are aware that several of these gallant heroes are excellent musicians, and have fiddled themselves into good places. Others sing vrcll, or their wives sing well, which is better, and a sufficient reason for appointing them to lucrative offices. In short the whole system is utterly rotten and corrupt. We make hold to say that were war to break out again, we should have to look elsewhere, for men to take the command of our troops than to those enormously overpaid and conspicuously inefficient officers who, with very few exceptions, constitute the staff of the New Zealand army. There arc a few good men among them, it is true ; but they arc kept in the background, and have no chance of promotion after the enterprising gentlemen and ladies already alluded to. The “ Evening Post,” of Wellington, describes one of these military heroes with perfect truthfulness, in a recent number. The gentleman alluded to held the rank of Captain in the Imperial army ; and managed there, as in the New Zealand service, to get on without incurring any personal risks. He is paid £6OO a-year for counting percussion caps, and discharging the duties following. The “ Post ” says : Apropos to 'Walter Bullcr, Mr Swanson recently alluded to a class of Colonial pets who must always be provided for at the public expense. Amongst these, Colonel Gorton occupies a prominent position. Having proved himself utterly unable to command men with temper, judgment, or discretion, the office of Colonial Storekeeper was invented for him, and his chief achievements in it have been with the scrubbing brush, preparing floors for state balls, See. Iu wielding this instrument he lias proved himself much more at home than in the use of his sword, and in directing the evolutions of floor scrubbers he has shown generalship which he never displayed in command of men with arms in their hands. He has shown a considerable amount of energy and dash in lending from the top of ashed on the wharf a forlorn hope of cheering when Dr Featherston returned, but we never heard of him showing the same alacrity iu leading a charge against the Maoris. All this worthy’s previous achievements, have, however, been eclipsed by his latest. An act was passed last session for placing all Government stores under the charge of the storekeeper, and Colonel Gorton has accordingly girded on his brand —not a sword, as might be imagined from his title —but a literal brand bearing the strange device of a broad arrow and the letlcrs N. Z. ; aud, thus arrayed, lie has taken advantage of the absence* of his Excellency the Governor to enter Government House, and stamp this brand on every piece of furniture in it—chairs, tables, his Excellency’s writing desk, the curtains, everything on which the design *could be displayed, lias been duly branded. Commencing iu the sitting rooms, we believe he got on most successfully in his work, until he arrived at the bedrooms, where the crockerywarc defied his ingenious efforts to imprint au indelible mark. In his various experiments lie is said to have made considerable havoc in this department, and to have at last desisted in despair. Seriously speaking, however, we regret that liis Excellency should have been subjected to the insult he lias. We venture to say that in no other Colony is the furniture of Government house branded in such a manner, nor do we think that the furniture of Windsor Castle or Buckingham Palace displays the broad arrow. Had Colonel Gorton gone to Government House on such an errand while his Excellency was there, he probably, aud very rightly, wouldhavc been ejected by the toe of the footman’s boot. We wonder whether Col. Gorton thinks bis Excellency is likely to make away with the furniture, or whether remembering the episode of the spoons, he thinks that his Excellency’s visitors are likely to pocket a dining table or steal a sofa.