FUNNY NAMES.

Temuka Leader, Issue 2272, 27 October 1891, Page 3

FUNNY NAMES.

A Somerest house clerk has lately declared that the tedium of his labour on the registry of births and deaths is often relieved by coming across a humorous juxtaposition of names. There is, indeed, a good deal of humor in the Somerset House Registry, the fun consisting in an odd or barbarous collation of names. For hours the eye of the clerk will roam over reams of dull propriety in such names as Henry Wilson, George Williams, or Samuel Smith; and then the face of the clerk will be covered with a smile across ‘Ether’ for the front name attached to the surname of ‘ Spray.’ It may seem strange, but it is certainly true, that entered in the books is ‘ foot-bath,’ which must be written in capitals, FOOT-BATH, as really the name of a fellow-creature, ‘ River Jordan ’ is another case on point. Mr Jordon had a child to name, and like a free-born Briton, he claimed his right to name it as he pleased. Unfortunately, the name he selected has left the sex of the child rather doubtful. Mr ‘ Anthistle ’ had a daughter to name, and he must be forgiven for giving her the Christain names ‘ Rose Shamrock.’ ‘Rose Shamrock Anthistle’ is a young lady whose names must please any patriotic man. Another happy father who gave his innocent offspring the names ‘Arthur Wellesley Wellington Waterloo Cox,’ behaved rather unfairly to the infant, as he pledged him to a career of greatness. The baby must have had some difficulty in understanding the obligations imposed upon him. Probably Master ‘ Arthur,’ &c., &c., found it difficult to live up to his names, and despairingly endured an existence which gave no promise beyond mediocrity. Miss ‘ Fanny Amelia Lucy Ann Rebecca Frost O’Connor Douall Luck Holberry Dufty Oastler Hill ’ it is to be hoped has realised all the expectations formed of her when she was received her baptismal names, somewhere about the time of the Chartist agitation. One lady is actually going about with six-and-twenty ‘ front names’— one for each letter of the alphabet in its proper order, as 1 Ann Bertha Cecilia,’ and so on down to ‘ Xeonhphon, Yetty, and Zeus,’ Some children have been rather cruelly named, in a manner which ever reminds them them that they have made a mistake or committed a fault in coming into the world. Thus, ‘ One Too Many Harry,’ or ‘ Not Wanted James,’ may be happy young men ; but, if they are, It is in spite of their names, ‘ That’s It, Charles,’ or ‘ Who’d Have Thought It, Tom,’ are names which certainly give utterance to a mild surprise.—Cassell’s Magazine.