LAWYERS AND THEIR LITTLE JOKES.

Temuka Leader, Issue 2234, 30 July 1891, Page 4

LAWYERS AND THEIR LITTLE JOKES.

An entertaining collection of scraps of legal ‘ shop ’ jokes, and jokelets, of sayings and golden, silvern, and brazen, and 1 ■- of curious and' memorable incidents connected with the administrationi of what is known as justice, was published some time ago by Mr Croake James, from which we take the following extracts, some or all of which may be new to our nonlegal readers:—

A POLITE JUDGE,

At the Old- Bailey-it was- customary to sentence the whole of the prisoners fonnd guilty at the < i sessions; at i one time. It fell to Baron Graham’s lot to perform, this duty, , and he accordingly went over the list with due solemnity, but omitted one person brought up for sentence—Mr John Jones. The Judge was on the point of finishing the sentences when the officer reminded his Lordship of the omission the Judge said gravely— ‘ Oh 1I am sure I beg John Jones’s pardon,’ and then sentenced him to transportation for life t

A COLONIAL APPOINTMENT.

Sir George Ross had a friend who had been appointed to a judgeship in one of 1 the colonies, and who- long afterwards was describing the agonies he endured in the sea, passage when he first went out. Sir George listened s with great commiseration to,the recital of these woes, and said : ‘lt’s a great mercy you, did i not throw up. your appointment.’

' PORTIA'S RING.

A young French advocate, in the course of his address to the Court, flourished about his hand in such a manner as to show off' a magnificent diamond ring. He was young, goodlooking, and pleading for a lady of who demanded' a separation from her husband. The husband, who happened to be present, interrupted him in the middle of a period, and turning to his judges, exclaimed theatrically ‘My lords, you will appreciate the zeal which Monsieur M. is displaying against me, and the sincerity of his argument, when you are informed that the diamond-ring he wears is, the very one which I placed on my wife’s finger on the day of that union be is so anxious to dissolve.’ The Court-,says Mr M. Berryer, who relates the story, was struck and rose immediately. The cause was lost, and the advocate never had another. To add to the poignancy of the catastrophe the • husband’s insinuation had no foundation in fact.

A PERSONAL NARRATIVE. Lord Wellesley’s aid-de-camp, Keppel, wrote a book of travels, and called it his personal narrative. Lord Wellesley was quizzing it, and said to Lord Plunket—' Personal narrative—what is j a personal narrative, Lord Plunket ? - What should you say was a personal narrative ?’ Plunket answered— ‘ My r lord, , you know we lawyers understand personal as distinguished from real’

A tenant of Lord Halkerston, a Judge of the Scotch Court of Session, once waited on him with a woeful countenance and said, ‘ My Lord, I am come to inform your Lordship of a sad misfortune. My cow gored one of your Lordship’s j cows,' and ! fear it cannot live.’ * Well,' then,,of course, you must pay for it,’ ‘lndeed, my lord, it was not my fault, and you know that I am but a very poor .mam’ ‘ I can’t help; that.; The law*says, you must pay for it. lam not -to lose my cow,,am I?’ ‘Well, ihy lord,-' if it must be so Lean say no - more,- but -1 forgot what I was saying. It. was; my mistake entirely. I should’have- said that it was your lordship?a,cow that gored mineJ ‘Oh L is that iit ? That’s quite a different - affair, - Go along, and don’t trouble me just now; lam busy. Be off; I say, I’