THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 2149, 13 January 1891, Page 2

THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

The Parnell-O’Shea controversy has sown the seeds of dissension in the office of this paper. The parties to the quarrel are the editor and the junior Devil, The editor, as is well known, is very much opposed to Mr Parnell, but the junior Devil looks more leniently on human frailties, and insists that Mr Badham is to blame for it all. In support of his contention he quotes the following yerse written by a poetic friend of his : 11 When old Beelzebub to breed mischief

began He first tempted Eve, and she tempted

man, So Scripture asserts, and from this we

infer That woman tempts man, and the devil tempts her.”

Mr Badham, he says, has always been violently opposed to Mr Parnell, and when he assumed the functions of Devil-regent, during his Satanic Majesty's absence from duty, he took advantage of his position, and tempted Mrs O’Shea, with the result that Mrs O’Shea tempted Mr Parnell. I must say the logic of the junior is very convincing, and that it is very likely Mr Badham is at the bottom of all the trouble.

The Earl of Onslow, the Governor of New Zealand, and Lady Onslow have made a trip to the Mackenzie Country and have been enjoying themselves. A paragraph appeared in a recent issue of the Lyttelton Times

describing how they arrived at the Tekapo ferry, and it went on to say that “ during the time they remained at Tekapo they had a row.” The moment 1 read this 1 threw down the paper in disgust and exclaimed, “ in the name of all that’s good and gracious what affair is that of anyone else.” If they had a “ row ” m a public place, where they would give bad example, it would be quite right to put it down, but here they have gone out into the wilds of the Mackenzie I Country to settle their differences, and yet they will not be allowed to have their “ row there in peace and quiteness.” I became so indignant that I could not rest until Mr McGuire bad added another sixpence to the sum standing opposite my name on the slate in his bar. After that I felt to a certain extent mollified, and taking up the paper again read “ during the time they remained at Tekapo they had a row on the lake.” Ah! that made all the difference. Things were not so bad after all. I felt ashamed of my impetuosity in jumping at a hasty conclusion before I had finished reading the sentence, but I have not told any one about it since, and I hope that you, my dear reader, will keep it to yourself and say no more about it.

The chief question which interests me just now is what took Lord and Lady Onslow to the Mackenzie Country ? My opinion is that they went there to enjoy respite, temporary though it may be, from the sickening flunkeyism with which they have been pestered since the birth of their youngest son. This juvenile has stirred flunkeyism to its depth. The Mayors of Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin, and Auckland jointly petition the Queen to stand godmother for him. Who could refuse such a petition? None, and of course Her Majesty yielded to the prayer, and henceforward the sun will shine more brilliantly.

The Mayor of Dunedin has received a request to supply the Mayor of Moscow with information concerning street cars. Fagcy the Mayor of a city only about 20 or 30 years old teaching the Mayor of a City, which, like the Dedloek family, is as old as the hills, and twice more respectable. It was not in this way Peter the Great obtained his information. Peter shouldered his swag and took the first job he got until he learned his trade, and thus proved himself not only ornamental but useful as a king.

It appears that an Atkinsonian cannot keep hie word any more than the leopard can change its spots. Sir Harry Atkinson,- it is said, proposed to resign if defeated in the general election. He has been defeated but will not resign, and the following reason is given for his refusal to do so, Sir F. D. Bell was appointed AgentGeneral on condition that if Sir Harry Atkinson wanted the billet for himself at any time, Sir Francis would resign in hia favor. Sir Harry reminded Sir Francis of this compact when he found himself defeated recently, but Sir Francis repudiated the bargain, and refused to accommodate Sir Harry. Chip off the same block you see : would stick to office as long as possible. This makes matters very awkward for Sir Harry. He wants this A gent-General-ship very bad and he is afraid that if he lets the reins drop out of his hands his chances of getting it will be small. It is usual for the spoil to go to the victors, and he is afraid that a Liberal Government may appoint a Liberal politican—Mr Montgomery, for instance—as Agent-General. Sir Harry is consequently sticking to office like a leech, and it will take something to remove him until he secures his ends. The Agent-Generalship will become vacant m October next, and no one is better entitled to it than Sir Harry Atkinson.

The proprietor of this paper wishes me to convey to my readers a little piece of information of a delicate nature. He desires me to state that he will hold a levee every day for the next month between the hours of 9 a.m. and midnight, at which he will be happy to receive friends of his whom he has not seen for some time. The fact is he recently met with a misfortune. Hitherto he managed to keep up a pair of shirts, and in prosperous seasons be has indulged in the additional luxury of a dickey, Eecently one of these shirts was stolen off the clothes line, and the junior devil is suspected, as be threatened to do something if his wages were not paid. This reduced him to one shirt, and now he is compelled to remain in retirement, while that interesting garment remains in the hands of the laundress. There is nothing troubling him so much as the possibility of the laundress taking a lien over it and sticking to it some of these days. Under these circumstances he has decided to be “ at home ”to his friends at any time. No ceremony is necessary. So as to encourage his friends to visit him he has handed me the following poem for publication : I had a dream the other night When all around was still— I dreamt that multitudes of friends Paid up (he printer’s bill. In ecstacy blood coursed my veins—--1 fdt as gay as a flirt; But, ah ! alas, it was a dream : I’ve still only one shirt. Oori O’Lanps, K.C.M.G.