THE LAND QUESTION.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1969, 14 November 1889, Page 4

THE LAND QUESTION.

(Mark Twain in the Australian Standard.) “Give me whereon to st»nd,” said Archimedes, “ and I will move the earth.” The boa>t was a pretty safe one, for he knew quite well that the standing was wanting. But suppose he had moved the earth, what then f What benefit would it have been to anybody ? The job would never have paid working expenses, let alone dividends, and so what was the use of talking ibout it f From what astronomers tell us, 1 should reckon that (he earth moved quite fast enough already, and if there happened to be a few cranks who were dissatisfied with its rale of

prograss, as far as I am they might pushit along for themselves; I would not move a finger or subscribe a penny piece to assist in anything of the kind. Why such 9 fellow as Archimedes should be looked upon as a genius I never could understand ; 1 never heard that he made a pile, er did anything else worth talking about. As for the last contract be took in hand, it was the worst bungle 1 ever knew ; ho undertook to keep the limans out of Syracuse ; he tried first one dodge and then another, but they got in after all, and when it came to fair fighting bo was out of it ,altogether, a common soldier in a very business-like sort of way settling all his pretensions.

It is evident that he was an over-rated man. Be was in the habit of making a lot of fuss about hia screws and levers, but his knowledge of mechanics was in reality of a very limited character. I have never set np for a genius myself, but I know of a mechanical force more powerful than anything the vaunting engineer of Syracuse ever dreamt of. It is the force of land monopoly ; it is a screw and lever all in one, it will screw the last penny out of a man’s pocket, and bend anything on eorth to its own despotic will. Give me the private ownership of all the land and I will move the earth 1 No ; bit I will do more. I will undertake to make slaves of all the human beings on the face of it. Not chattel slaves exactly, but slaves nevertheless. What aa idiot 1 would be to make chattel slaves ot them. T would have to find them salts and senna when they were sick and whip them to

work when they were lazy, No, it is not good enough. Onder the system I propose the fools would imagine they were all free. I would get a maximum of results, and have no responsibility whatever. They would cultivate the soil, they would dive into the bowels of the earth for its hidden treasures; they would build cities and construct railways and telegraphs ; their ships would navigate the ocean ; they would work and work, and invent and contrive : their warehouses would be full, their markets glutted, and The beauty of the whole concern would be That everything they made would belong to me.

It would be this way, you see: As I owned all this land, they would, of coarse have to pay me rent. They could not reasonably expect me to allow them the use of the land for notbiog. I am not a hard mao, and in fixing the rent I would bo very liberal with them. I would allow them, in fact, to fix it themselves. What could be fairer ? Hero is a piece of land, let us say ; it might be a farm, it might be a building site, or it might be something else—if there was only one man who wanted it of course ho would not ofLr me much, but if the laud bo really worth anything such a circumstance is not likely to happen. On the contrary, there would be a number who would want it, and ihey would go on bidding and bidding one against the other in order to get it. I should accept the highest offer. What could be fairer? Every increase of

population, extension of trade, eyery advance in the arts and sciences would, as we all know, increose the value of land, and the competition that would naturally arise would continue to force rents upwards, so much so that in many cases the tenants would have little or nothing left

for themselves. In this case a number of those who were hard pushed would seek to borrow, and as for those who not so hard pushed, they would, as t. toatter ef course, get the idea into their heads that if they only had more capital they could extend their operations, and thereby make their businesses more profitable. Hdre I am again. The very man they stand in need of, a regular benefactor of ray species, and always ready to oblige

them. With such an enormous rent-roll I could furnish them with funds up to the full extent of the available security ; they would not expect me to do more, and in the matter of interest I would be equally generous, I would allow them to fix the rate of it themselves in precisely the same manner as they had fixed the rent. I should then haye them by the wool, and if they failed in their payments it would be the easiest thing in the world to sell them out. They might bewail their lot, but business is business. They should haye worked harder and been more provident. Whatever inconvenience they might suffer, it would be their concern, not mine. What s glorious time I would have of it! rant and interest, interest and rent, and no limit to either, excepting the ability of the workers to pay. Bents would go up and up, and they would continue to pledge and mortgage, and as they went bung, one after another, it would be the finest sport ever seen. Thus, from the simple leverage of land monopoly, not only the g'eat globe itself, bub everything bn the face of it would eventually belong to me. I would be king and lord of all, and the rest ot mankind would be my moat willing slaves.

It hardly needs to bo said that it would not be consistent with my dignity to associate with the common rank and file of humanity ; it would not be polite to «-.y so, but, as a matter of fact, I not on y hate work, but 1 hate those who do «voik, and I would not have their stinking carcase, near me at,any price. High above the contemptible herd I would sit enthroned amid a circle of devoted worhippers. I would choose for myself companions after my own heart. I would desk them with ribbons and gewgaws to tickle their vanity; they would esteem it an honor to kiss my glove, and would pay homage to the very chair that I sat upon ; braye men would die for me; parsons would pray for me, and brigbt-?y.d beauty would pander to my pieisure?. For the proper management of public affairs I would have a Parliament, and for the preservation of law and order there would be soldiers and policemen, all sworn to serr« me faithfully J their pay would not be much, but their high sense of duty would be a sufficient guarantee that they would fulfil the (ernvJ of the contract. Outside

the charmed circle of ray society, would be others eagerly pressing forward in the hope of sharing my favors; oalside of these would be others again who, would be for ever seeking to wriggle themselves into the ranks ef those in front of them, and so on, outward and downward, until we reach the deep ranks of the workers, for overtoiling and for ever struggling merely to live, and with the hell of poverty for ever threatening to engulf them. The hell of poverty, the enter realm of . darkness, where : there is weeping and wailing and gnashing ofteeth—the social Gehenna, where the worm, .dieth not, ■ and the fire .is , notquenched —here a whip more effective by f«r than the keenest lash of the Icbattel slave owner, urging them on by day, haunting their dreams by night, draining without stint the life blood from their veins, and pursuing them with relent less constancy to their buoyancy of youth many would stprt full of hope and high expectations; but, as they journeyed along, disappointment would follow disappoinment, ; hops would gradually give .place to despair, tjhe promised cup of'joy would be turned to bitterness, and, the holiest affections would become a poisoned arrow quivering in the heart. What a beautiful arrangement-f-ambi-tien 'urging in front; want/'andifear of want, bringing up the roar. In the conflicting interests that would be involved, in the throat-cutting competition that' would prevail, in the bitterness that would be engendered between fra a& and man, hpsband and wife, father and son, I' should of course haye no p«rt. There would be lying and cheating, harsh treatment by masters, dishonesty, of servants, , strikes and lock-outs, assaults and intimidation, family feuds and, interminable broils; but they would not concern me. In the serene atmosphere of my earthly paradise i would be safe frbra all evil, iwouldfeastonlhe daintiest of ,dishes, and sip wines of the choicest vintages ; my gardens would have the most magnificent terraces and the finest walks; Iwriul.d roam mid the umbrageous foliage of the trees, the blooming bowers, the warbling of birds, the jetting of fountains, and the plashing of pellucid waters; my palace would have its walls of alabaster and domes of.crystal, there.'would- be furniture of the most exquisite workmanship, carpets and hangings of the richest fabrics and finest textures, carvings and paintings that were miracles of art, vessels of gold and silver, gems of the purest ray glittering in their settings, the voluptuous strains of the sweetest music, a perfume of roses, the softest of couches, a horde ot titled lackeys to come and go at my bidding, and a perfect galaxy of beauty to stimulate desire, and administer to my enjoyment. Thus would I pass the happy hours away, while throughout the world it would be a haU mark of respectability to extol my virtues, and anthems would be everywhere sung in my praise. Archimedes never dreamt of anything like that. Yet, with the earth for ray fulcrum and its private ownership for ray lever, it is all possible. If it should be said that the people would eventually detect the fraud, and with swift vengeance hurl me and all my costly parasites to peredition, I answer, “Nothing of the Bod; the people are as good as gold, and would stand it like bricks, and I appeal to the facts of to-day to, bare me witness.”