MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1907, 22 June 1889, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A gentleman once rode up to a public house" in the country and asked: " Who is the master of this house? " "I am, sir," replied the landlord; "my wife hss been dead about three weeks." A mistress who had just hired a new cook made a tour of inspection after ehe had kept her a week, and found a policeman in the pantry. " How did this man get here ? " asked the lady severely. " I'm sure I don't know," answered the girl; "he must have been left by the old cook." The duty upon the importation of ordinary books into Canada is 15 per cent., but Bibles are let in at a lower rate. A large chest of " Bibles " recently taken through the Custom House turned out to be Mormon " Bibles." The officers decided against their canonicity, and remorselessly levied the full tax of 15 per cent., and the Government, on being appealed to, supported their decision. Another Irish emigrant has become a millionaire in the United States. Dennis Ryan, who began his career on a western railway with pick and shovel, and saved his earnings till he had £IOOO, with which ha bought a Colorado mine interest, is now one of the wealthiest men in St. Paul, Minnesota. He is said to have made £400,000 from the mine in a few years.

The Eev. Walter Clark, head master of Derby school, who died suddenly the other day, was a direct descendant of Oliver Cromwell, and probably the last in the male line. Richard Cromwell, the Protector's son, after his abdication went into retirement and took the name of Clark. It was from him that the head master of Derby school sprang. "G-eorge, what does c-a-t spell ?'* " Don't know, sir." " What _ does your mother keep to catch mice ?" " Trap, sir." "No, no; what animal is fond of milk?" "A baby, sir." "You dunce; what was it that scratched your sister's face." "My nails, sir." "I am out of all patience. There you see that animal on the fence ? " " Yes, sir." " Then tell me what c-a-t spells." " Kittens, sir." An extraordinary story is going the rounds, on the authority of the companion of Mr Ingram, the son of the proprietor of the Illustrated ISTews, who was recently killed in Egypt by an elephant. Shortly before his death Mr Ingram purchased a mummy, amongst the wraps of which he discovered a papyrus covered with writing. Translated, this proved to be a solemn malediction on any person who disturbed the cerpse, accompanied by an assurance that the desecraifcor (be it man or woman) should die a violent death within three moons (months), and his or her body should be scattered to the winds of heaven, Mr Ingram's death took place just within that period, and only a thigh bone could be found when his friends attempted to recover the body. This is not a traveller's tale, wo are told, but a solid fact,—Enchange.

Four octogenarians met at "Warrington in their official capacity as trustees of the Grammar School of that town, namely, Lord Winmarleigh, 86 years o£ age; Mr William Beaumont, 91; Canon George Heron, 84; and Sir Gilbert Greenall, 83. Their total years amounted to 344, or an average of just eighty-six years. These venerable gentlemen were all well and hearty, and they spent fully two hours in the discussion of most important business. A woman is far more sensitive than a man. She has finer feelings and a more delicate mind. There are very few men who realise this, and in consequence woman is made to endure much unnecessary suffering. One of our merchants was going to church with hia wife, when she suddenly put her hand to her head. " What's the matter?" he asked, startled by the look of her face. " Oh, I have got on my brown hat." "Eh?" ejaculated the astonished man. She burst into tears. "What, Martha, what is the matter with you ?" he demanded. " Don't you see what is the matter P " she returned in a sobbing voice. " I've got on my brown hat with my striped silk. Oh, what will people say ? "