PROFESSOR BLACKIE ON MARRIED HAPPINESS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1870, 26 March 1889, Page 4

PROFESSOR BLACKIE ON MARRIED HAPPINESS.

In the December number of Cassell's Magazine, Prefesaoc Blackie dalivers himself of sundry maxim 3 which he contends will tend to married happiness, and which can b« briefly summarised as follows: " What are your expectations of married life? If you expect to find it a paradise of delight and a field of clover you are sure to be disappointed. Expect from it only a more sacred sphere of moral sympathy, and the best school of moral training, and it is is not in the power even of a bad husband to deprive you altogether of the rich spiritual blessing ! of the bond. " 2 It is not in the power of the most sagacious young lady to discern the character of the future husband in that of the present lover. . . . Look, therefore, for a certain change in the character of your present admirer. The best woman in the world would be spoiled and become intolerable if she were habitually to receive such tribute and such service as lovers so lavishly offer on the shrine of their idol. " 3 Men are naturally less amiable and more intractable than women. The first point, therefore, to secure a married woman's happiness, after the holidays of the honeymoon are over, is that she should study carefully the peculiarities of herlhusband's temper, Let no woman foolishly attempt to gain from her husband in a rough way what she can surely achieve by gentleness. " 4 In your study to master your husband's temper do not forget to keep a firm hold of your own. "5. Obey your husband in all reasonable matters. When he becomes imperious about crotchets, take your own way and smile bewitchingly. "6. Always attend conscientiously to the kitchen and pantry; also to the wardrobe, and, if you have children, to the nursery. But beware of becoming altogether a mere housekeeper or bringer-up of bairns. "7. To ensure the continuance of' your husband's love, behave so in all points aa to command his respect. "8. Dress well. Q-ood dress is a sort of poetry addressed to the eye, which it is in the power of every wellconditioned woman to compose■ and a woman who has no taste for decoration is as much out of nature as a bird without wings. " 9. When you wish to obtain .anything from your husband, and have reason to anticipate his refusal, choose with delicate care a favorable moment. " 10. Don't annoy your husband with officious displays of loviug attention in small matters when he is busy and occupied with affairs of serious concern. " 11. Bear in mind also that your husband, though a very important person in your eyes, may be a very small person in the eyes of the world. Do not, therefore, be eager to bring hitn forward on all occasions, quoting all his opinions as if he were an oracle, and discussing publicly his small peculiarities, as if the manner in which he smoked his cigars and shaved his beard were a matter of parliamentary concern. To parade your husband after this fashion is the surest way to make the man appear ridiculous and the wife petty. .... Whatever his faults a man naturally expects sympathy from his helpmate in the first place, and not criticism. " 12. If your husband is a weakling, and cannot manage his own establishment properly, you are entitled to assume the reins by the laws of the stronger; but in doing so be careful to use this superiority wisely, and to display it as little as possible. . . . No proper woman should wish to exercise any power over her husband save that which is the natural and quiet result of conjugal love and loyalty, acting in harmony with the graciousness and tact which are the characteristic excellencies of the sex.''