The Tumeka Leader THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1888. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1729, 26 April 1888, Page 2

The Tumeka Leader THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1888. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

1 am told that I have been mourned as one , that was dead, and 1 hasten to allay anxiety on that subject. I have not assumed i immortality yet; I am still afloat in the great sea of current humanity, although 1 had a narrow squeak of it. In fact for a time I could not squeak either narrow er brosd, I could only “ sigh and look, and sigh again,” like the distressed poet. You remenber that when last you heard from me I was stricken down by the “ dandy fever.” 1 told you the truth then because it suited me to do so, and Iteil you the truth now, too, because I could not derive any pecuniary benefit by telling a lie. Seneca says—mind you I did not know Dr Seneca, but it is said that he said that “ the best part of the cure is to wish to be cured,” Another doctor who inscribed hia name on his door-plate as Potronius Arbiter (no relation of the Gladstone Arbiter, notwithstanding a similarity in the style of writing as regards coarseness and vulgarity) says “ a physician is nothing but a consoler of the mind.” Virgil, who was, I believe, a distinguished authority on medicine, says that “ medicine only increases the disease.” I believe all these, and am firm in the conviction that men of brutal instincts make but vary bad doctors. At any rate the Afeculapian disciple who attended me made no attempt to cure my mind—probably he thought it past curing—and hia medicine was, as Dr Virgil says, increasing the disease, until I found myself sinking deeper and deeper down in that gulf which has never yet been fathomed. 1 have met with such rebuffs, disappointments, and hard knocks in my journeyings through what Sairey Gamp used to call this “wale of tears,” that 1 hav« often said there was nothing in this world worth living for, but I can tell you I changed my opinions on that subject completely when i found myself up to the neck in “dandy fever.” I fell into a reverie and began to examine my account book to see whether it was properly posted up. and the accounts nicely balanced. Alas 1 alas I—But why should I tell my secret thoughts further than to say that life never seemed half so sweet before—not even when the throne of Bulgaria was offered mo—and you may say I wished to be cured. I did more, [ determined that it would not be said that an O’Lanua was conquered by “dandy fever." I willed it; I called up all ray latent vitality ; it answered to the call, and when the doctor sailed next, instead of kicking (he bucket I kicked him down stairs, and he spent the following three months mending his own bones. When His Exc iilency the Governor and my friend Lord Knowswho called shortly afterwards, they found me completely resurrected, and we indulged In libations more palatable than physician’s physic. Amen.

While ia a state of convalescence Sir Harry Atkinson called to see me, and persuaded me to assist him in his policy of retrenchment. He was not Sir Harry then ; he was only the Major, and I soon found out that this was the source of a great trouble to him, He was a long time beating about the bush, but the long and short of it was that he hinted to me that ha coveted the title. I spoke to the Governor and Lord Knowswho, who has great influence at Court, about it, and the Major was knighted. Now that is the story of how Sir Harry Atkinson was knighted, but 1 do not wish it to go any farther. I wish it to be kept a perfect secret.

I soon found out that we could not I agree on the question of retrenchment. While he was cutting down the screw of the Governor, depopulating the Legislative Council, annihilating members of Parliament, and lopping off the higher branches generally, we got on very well. 1 persuaded him not to cut down the present Governors screw, as he was near the end of hie tether here, and for this His Excellency expressed his gratitude to me in a champagne supper. When Sir Harry began to cut off the lower branches, however, dissension arose in the Cabinet. I refused to be u party to increase the sum of lujnjajj so as to save a few paltry pounds a year, s.od so we quarrelled, and Sir Harry has since gone to Dunedin to get a hint from Sir Robert Stout.

In Christchurch Sir Harry said, in reply to the Knights of Labor, that the Government had done nothing to lower wages, and that no salary below £l5O a year had been touched, 1 take' the liberty of doubting this. J.t will he remembered that the pay of the rank and tile in the defence force was reduced by i/i shilling per day, and certainly not.

obo of them was receiving £l5O. It may also be remembered that a cry was raised against the Government last session for dismissing men and patting en boys to work on permanent way works. If this i« not cutting down wages it is very much like it. Ihe Knights of Labor, when they waited on Iho Premier recently, complained that a good deal of work which they might have had to do was now done by prison labor, and the Premier gave them no hope that prison labor would bo discouraged. Mr Hutchison, when he sat in Parliament for Te Aro, Wellington, gave a good deal of attention to this question, and did bis best to prevent prison labor competing with honest labor. In the same way Mr Bracken, when he was member for Dunedin, also raised his voice against it, but what was the result I At tbs election in 1881 Mr Hutchison was defeated, and in 1884 Mr Bracken met with the same late, and many a working man voiod against them. It is thus that the working men always treat those who work in their interests, and consequently politicians Lave very little respect for tehm. Many a working, man voted against the StoatYogel Government last election, with the result that they have to leave the colony now to look for employment. Nice slate of things when honest men have to leave the country, while the Government employ all the thieves and robbers to do the work !

Talking about leaving the colony brings me to a very serious question. Tho exodus on which so much has been said has an aspect to which no reference has been so tar mads. Largs numbers of hurd-worktng, handsome young men are leaving the colony, and it has struck me that this is a sad state of affairs. Wc have not lolved the question of “ What shall we do with our boys,” and the result is that the boy* are going away to do for themselves. The question now arises “ What shall we do with our gills ? ” and it is no use to tell us,to many them to our boys, because they are gone. It makes me sad to see “our boys” leaving our shores, and our beautiful, blooming girls getting older and older and still unmarried. This must be looked iato. I must see about this. I will not stand by and sec nur dear and fascinating young ladies treated so shockingly.

Freetrade papers, as well as Mr Vincent Pyke, Esq., M.H.R., have been trying to make out that the labor market is very depressed now in Melbourne, I'ho wonder is that half the number of men who aro crowding into Victoria now get employment, hut apparently there is room for more. In the Otago Daily Times of Saturday there appears an advertisement wanting 12 cabinet-makers, who will bo guaranteed 12 month* work at £3 per week at Messrs Fallshaw Bms., Furniture Manufacturers, Errol and Shanaasy Street, Melbourne Is this not better than importing furniture from Home 1 This is the effect of Protection,

Mr Fisher, the Minister of Education, stated in Auckland last week that railway employees ware better paid in New Zealand than in Victoria. It has si me been discovered that this was untrue, as railway hands in Victoria got 7* 9d per day. So much for Fisher. Tha Auckland people will doubtless take his word with a very, very, very largo grain of salt in future. Com O’Linus, K.O.M.G.