THE WAX'S OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1516, 23 November 1886, Page 2

THE WAX'S OF THE WORLD.

In the history of the colony nothing equal to the present depression has been experienced. It is needless to dwell upon it; 'everyone knows it excepting our montjtary institutions, which go merrily on accumulating wealth as well a 8 ever. Now, it appears to me, that it would be only reasonable to ask the banks and mortgagees to bear a share of the heat and burden of the day. Laud has depreciated in value, sheep and cattle are at 50 per cant less than they used to be, grain and wool are still depressed ; everything except the price of money is down, and, I ask, would it not be fair to ask the banks and mortgagees to reduce the price of money proportionately ? The great trouble ia Ireland now is that th> people cannot make out of the land sufficient to pay the rent, owing to depreciation in the value of the products of the j soil, and English politicians, led on by MrQladstone, hold that rente should be reduced. If rents should be reduced in Ireland because the people cannot produce sufficient to pay the amount of their rents, interest t-hould be reduced in this colony because people cannot make interest out of their lands. " What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander" all the world over. The majority of Irish landlords refuaa to reduce their rents, although they know the tenants cannot make the rents out of their holdings ; all the banks and mortgagees in thiß colony refuse to lower the price of money also. Like the immortal Shylock they must have their " pound of "flesb."

The banks are Dot evan satisfied with their "pound of flesh," but must intent new machinery for screwing more out of the people. The other day the principal directors of the banks met together, uod,

regardless of the depression, and of many other considerations, they resolved to charge exchange on cheques. They were not bleeding the people well enough, they thought; they must get more outoftheni—- " Bqueeze tbem again," as Mr Panks used to do in Bleeding Heart Yard. Now, it appears to me that the banks were very ill-advised in inflicting such a heavy tax on the people in the middle of the severest depression ever heard of in the colony. By allowing them to isbuo notes the people of this colony lend the banks one milliou a year at two per cent interest, and it is a poor return they are making for this extraordinary privilege. If the people are each fools as to put into Parliament men who vill uphold the banks and the money rings there is no remedy, and they must grin and bear it.

In Texas recently a fierce dual was fought between Alexander Shott and John S. Nott. It was after the duel, however, the trouble commenced, for the first rumor that went the rounds was to the effect that Nott was shot, but Shott was not, and some one said it was better to be Shott than Nott.. When Shotb avowed that be had shot Nott, then it was held that if he had not. shot, Nott could not have been shot. The trouble increased, as inquiry began to be made, for the friends of Mr Shott held that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, while Mr Nott's friends made it appear that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself, and that it was not Nott shot Shott. When the mail left tremendous excitement existed aB to whether Shott shot Nott, or Nott shot Shoit, and here I will leave it. I am getting so mixed up in the profusion of shots and Dots, that I do not fee) certain as to whether I am shot or not.

Another knotty question has been submitted to a Melbourne Judge. At first it appeared simple enough, but its complexity increased as the story developed. What the Judge w»s asked to decide was, Who was Sutton's wife ? Mr iSutton married in 1858 for the first time in his life, but Mrs Sutton bad a wider experieoce. She originally became the wife of a Mr Stone, who got tired of ber after fifteen years, and left her for Englund with a blooming beauty of twenty summers. Mrs Stone did not pine away and die, she bitched on to Mr Chapman, and when he died Bhe became Mrs Sutton. But Stone was not dead and consequently she was not Sutton's wife. As Krs Sutton, she was cot happy, aud she left him in 1860. Two years later Sutton took unto himeelf Mary Delany for his lawful and wedded wife, notwithstanding that Mrs Stone-Chapuaan-Sutton still lived. Suttondid not altogether please Mary Delany, and eo she went to San F rancisco, and Lena Warkbecame Mrs Sutton, while Mary Delany was still living. Lena finished the old sinner. He lived only six months with Lena when he crossed over the Jordan, leaving some property in dispute between bis relatives ahd his wife. Lena Wark claimed to have been hia wife, but a nephew of Sutton's held that she was not, as Mary Delany was still living, and on that ground claimed the old mon's money. This was the question the Judge had to decide, who wai Sutton's wife I He gave the nephew three months to prove that Mary Delany was alive when Lena got married, and that is the last I heard of it.

There is an amusing story going the rounds. A rev. gentleman wrote to the Church vestry of a remote district telling them he wonld preach in their church on Sunday, D.V. The vestry met and rejoiced at learning that the rev. gentleman was about to visit them, but for the life of them, they could not make out what was meant by D.V. The re*, gentleman came, and after service he turned into the vestry, whenjto his great surprise he beheld a sumptuous dinner laid out. tie asked the vestrymen who followed him what was the meaning of it, when the leader replied, "You ordered it; didn't youf The reply was "No." "Then," said the vestryman " Wbat was the meaning of D.V. in your letter 1" "My dear friend," replied the preacher " That means Deo volente (God willing)." " Oh," was the reply, " We took it to mean ' dinner in the vestry.' "

They >ire going it in Timaru. The Evening Haahup, after spending a week or so in " nursing its wrath to keep it warm," awakened Rip-Van-Winkle-like from its somnoleacy—no, that's not the word : wane of energy 1 mean—and, after Borne drowsy reflections, Hie fact slowly, but surely dawned upon its bewildered 5 skullful of maßhed turnips, which it culls and it began to realise that it had got a nasty knock from the lessee of the Timaru Heiald. It deliberated slowly and calmly, and quietly, and methodically on what had happened, and then it came [to the conclusion that the sneer was not [sufficient. The mashed turnips were fearfully racked for something more to say, and, at length, a story of something of

which the lessee is said to have bees guiltr io Ashburton was recollected after an uge of cogitation, and the story was put in print last Saturday eyetUDg. Now, the lessee is absent at present, and he left women in charge of the Herald. There

was commotion in the Herald Office on Saturday evening when the Rashup reached it. The lady editor consulted "Everyone His Own Lawyer," and came to the conclusion that the story of the Hasbup was libel. Fancy that, now ; the leßset actually libelled! Accoidingly the lady editor dipped her pen in gall and that the lessee was absent, but that as soon as he returned he would punish the writer of so gross a libel. She further insinuated that the possessor of the mashed turnips would not have dared to have published such a thing if the lessee were at home, and so the thing ends for the present. If the Haahup had coDtented itself with the sneer it would have done far better. Com O'Lanus.