The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1886. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1513, 16 November 1886, Page 2

The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1886. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Freetraders read this: In Protectionist Victoria the railway receipts ■bow an increaie of £60,000 for (he quarter ended September 30th, and the public revenue of the colony for the same period shows an increase of £lll,BOB, as compared with the corresponding quarter of last year. In Freetrade South Australia the public revenue for the past quarter abows a decrease of OTer £120,000, compared with the corresponding period of last year. The Premier ot New South Wales, after haying spent 22£ millions of borrowed . money during the last three years, says that the rerenue of that colony will be a million short this year. The revenue of New Zealand promises to be pretty close on half a million short. That most mean that the property tax will be doubled next year. Reflect on this. Sam Weller used to tell a story about a man who killed himself to prore “ that crumpets was wholesome.” Freetraders are killing industry, starring the working-men, and raining the colony to prove to the world that Freetrade is the correct thing. Now, Freetraders, “ With pleasure own your errors past, And make each day a critic on the last.”

The Hawke’s Bay County Council, in the agonies of a prolonged debate the other day came to the conclusion that the usual rules for condnoting business were inadequate. They accordingly passed the following by-law ou Monday, October 25th last:—“ If an amendment be carried, the question or amendment as amended shall become itself the question or amendment, whereupon any further amendment upon any portion of the question or amendment, coming after such first-mentioned amendment, may be moved,” It was afterwards submitted to the County solicitor for his opinion as to its correctness. He has been all the time since working at it, and it is feared now that it will drive him to lunacy,

England’s only General—the great and mighty Lord Wolseley—has taken a great down on Mr Gladstone on account of bis Irish policy. According to a Home paper he refuses to recognise Mr Gladstone in any way, and would not sit down to dinner with him. No doubt Mr Gladstone will survive this. It is only a way Lord Wolseley has. He marched thousands upon thousands of miles to see the Mabdi, but no sooner did ha see the distant camp where the Mabdi lived than be turned back. Be gave such a fierce, scornful, contemptuous look towards the camp that be overstrained bis optics, and this explains bow it waa that be was near losing his eyesight in the Soudan. But be had the satisfaction of eotting the Mabdi; cutting him, not with bis sword but with a snub, just as he proposes to cnt Mr Gladstone. The poor Mabdi felt the snub so severely that he died shortly afterwards, and Wolseley lived to prove to the world the truth of the stansa, that “He who fight* and runs away Will lire to fight another day.” He will have to do something better than run away from the Mabdi before bis name will be written in such indebible characters as the imperishable name of the Grand Old Man.

The Legislators of New South Wales have been distinguishing tbemie’ives recently. Pugilistic performances, Sunday sittings, broken and bleeding noses, violent language, etc., ate., have entered largely into their legislative actions. In a debate on the proposal to inersase the Customs duties recently, one of them said he “ would pass the Customs Bill' or keep the House waiting till hell was frozen over,” This is determination, Bumble’s paupers, who died through obstinacy, were nothing compared to this gentleman, bat be bad not much of a start of a Mr Neild, who spoke afterwards, and complained that “ members laughed like other jackasses at early morning. It was daylight and jackasses ought to be in bed. It was simply disgraceful that important business should be transacted at ghostlike and unearthly hour?, when half of the few members were (inoring like pigs in their seats, and while the Ministers were in their own private room drinking and 1 shouting ’ champagne right and left. It was a pitiable, abominable, and despicable way of using mere numerical strength for the purpose of bumbling an exalted, famous, and dangerous opponent (hear, hear), an attempt to humble the only man who was capable of dealing properly with the flimsy rag of a Go rermnent which was now in power. Was it anything to crow over, to try to crash a political opponent whose boots the laughing, giggling, idiotic honorable ‘gammers ’ on the Government benches were not fit to blacken!”

I have come serosa a book written about comic advertisements somewhere. The advertisements quoted in it were very funny, but the following which appears in a Victorian paper beats them all Wanted a steady young man to look after a horse of the Methodist persuasion,” How delightful it must be to look after fsob « bttfA i

A commercial traveller brought me the following item :—The train bad stopped at a station, and a young gentleman, apparently of the masher kind, made himself conspicuous by walking from window to window and gassing into the faces of the lady passengers, Ue was particularly objectionable, till at Inst a blooming buxom young woman stuck her head out of the window and asked, “ Are you selling apples, please ? ” He was completely crushed, and be glided away like a whipped cur amidst rears of laughter.

In the Otago Daily Times ot the 15th of October last there appeared a leading article which tried to show that there were several industries which could be carried on well without Protection, only for want of enterprise on the part of the people. Amongst other things the writer mentioned bone-dust, and asked exultantly, “ Will anyone have the hardihood to assert that we want Protection to grind our own bones to advantage f” Well, 1 am a Protectionist, but I should be inclined to allow Freetrade to any gentleman desirens of grinding bis own bonee to advantage. At the same time I must tell him (hat the reason the bones of others are not gronnd into bone-dust to advantage is : the men who have the money prefer lending it at at 10 per cent to investing it in grinding bones, and the farmers who have to pay 10 per cent interest cannot afford to bny the bones when reduced to bone-dust. Another thing is : bone-dust is allowed to come in free, and if s man starts a factory for grinding bones in this colony he must pay property tax on bis plant; be must pay Road Board, County Council, or Borough Council rates. Thai we tax the man who works in the country, and eats our beef and mutton and bread ; and the man who does the work outside (he colony, takes the money with him, and never spends one penny of it with us, escapes scot free. Beautiful thing Freetrade: crush domestic industry courage industry in foreign lands. In 1884 we imported £28,057 worth uf bone-dust. We ought to be exporting bone-dust instead. Import your goods Freetraders, and pay double property tax next year! If you had a couple of hundred men employed in the bone-dust industry they would bear a share of your taxes, but as you have not pay them yourselves.

Much amusement has been caused in Timaru during the past few days by a little farce which the nominal proprietors of the local prints bare been enacting. The scene opened with a rerj impudent assertion to the effect that the evening Hashup has a wider circulation than all the other papers in South Canterbury put together. I am rather partial to anything done on a large scale, but the stapendoueness of the lie on which the above statement was built took my breath away. There are about a dozen evening flathupa coming to Temuka ; sometimes they all sell, and lometimai they do not. Between two aud three down go to Geraldine, where the respectability of the local agent has made them popular. One lonely, sad, solitary Evening Qashup was all that reached Orari a couple of months ago. It was pitifnl to see that poor little paper lying there alone; really, its loneliness almost moved me to tears. The lessee of the morning sheet challenged the Evening Hasbup to prove its assertion, the conditions being that whoever bad the smallest circulation should pay £25 to the hospital, and £5 Is to each of the Borough auditors for auditing the books of both papers, so as to ascertain which bad the largest circulation during the past six months. Now, during the Hall cases the morning sheet sent cart loads of papers into the country districts in hope of selling them ; but, alas, vain hope, they are crowding the stores of their country agents yet 1 It would not be fair to reckon up the circulation on that basis. The Hasbup was equal to the occasion. With one withering, blasting sneer it knoaked the bragging, boastful bubblyjock lessee into a whining spaniel, It told the lessee in a high-and-mighty tone that the proprieta—of the Ilasbup a— was not going to a— expose a—his business “to the blustering demands of any itinerant newspaper lessee.” Jerusalem aud General Jackson! the snub was grand, " There was a laughing devil in the sneer That raised emotions both of rage and fear.”

I have a good mind to forgive the eneerer all hie past transgressions so pleased am I with the way he cut the braggart lessee. I would, only that he is just as poor as myself, and there is nothing gained by chumming up to poor men. But to resume. Out came the bubbly-jock lessee next morning in a leading article, complaining that the sneer was " very offensive and personal, and that no respectable man would allow such matter to appear in a paper over which he had control.” All ye who love honor, truth and virtue bear this prate about respectability. It is respectable for the blustering lessee to publish trucnleut, ruffianly attacks upon a certain person I will not name, but it is not respectable for the Hashup to refuse to expose his business to an itinerant lessee. All ye saints and sinners listen to him talking about respectability. “Oh wad some power (hegiftie giehim,” etc. But let him pass, H# is too contemptible for contempt. The pair coming oql of ihe rencounter might well be represented by a picture known as dignity and impudence 5 the arrogant proprietor dignity, the itinerant lessee impudence. “ I would rather be a dog and bay the moon Than such Romans. 0 Cou O’Lanu#* ,