HE ADVISED HER.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1553, 7 September 1886, Page 4

HE ADVISED HER.

Young girls have strange ways of dealing with troublesome suitors. I remember a story which Thackeray was very fond of telling at the dinner table. It was told him hy an American sea-captain of one of the steamship lines —a great friend of his (the captain’s). Thackeray used to delight in imitating the old salt’s Connecticut twang. It seems that cn a certain voyage there happened to be a very fascinating American belle, jnst returning from a triumphant tour in Europe. On the steamer there were four young fellows particularly attentive to her. They were each handsome in the way, and all of them eligible as far as money conditions go. They had proposed successively and been evaded. The question with the young lady was which of the four she should accept. In her dilemma site consulted the Captain; who- was a soit of father to all bis passengers. “You like ’em all pretty much, and don’t kiow which you like best; that’s about it, ain’t it 1” asked (he Captain. “That’s just the trouble,” rep'ied the maiden. *' Kin you swim ?” “ Yes, a little bit.” “ Well, now I’ll jest fix you all straight in a jiffy. To-morrow mornin’s goin’ to be fine weather. I’ll slack the speed awhile, and you get tit’ four fellows round you, and while they’re just talkin’ to you for all they’re wu’th you fall overboard. One of ’em ’ll bo sure to jump in after you. An’that one you kin marry. I’ll be ready to jump in after you myself, if one of ’em don’t start, an’ besides that the boats ’ll be lowered, and you wont run any risk.” The young girl thought it a capital plan—romantic and feasible. She carried it out to the letter. But the best laid plans oft go astray. When she fell overboard three of the young men jumped in to rescue her. . After she had been pulled out, congratulated, and re-clothed, she sought the author of the plan indignantly : “Now, Captain, what am I to do? The plan didn't work nicely at all !” “ What’s the matter with it ?”• “ Why, three of them rescued me.” . “ Well, what of that ?” “ Why, I can't accept the three.” “No,” said the Captain, “ what you’ll have to do is take the feller that didn’t jump in.”