Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Temuka Leader, Issue 1509, 22 May 1886, Page 3

The Bruce Herald says that, in mnnoc, Hon with the school election at Waiholathe Courts will bo invited to define what constitutes a householder. The Mataura Ensign says that Sir Julius Vogel, on hearing of the GoTenjor's mishap at Onahunga, wired to his Excellency : "You lacked enterprise and confidence. You should have progressed by leaps and bounds to the sides of the vessel. If you're in danger of cold borrow a suit from the captain. Borrowing will euro everything." A very loquacious lady, calling one day to consult her physician, talked on and on with such volubility that the latter could not get a word in edgewise. Growing impatient he at length told her to put out her tongue, which she did. He then said; "Now please keep it there till you have heard what I have got to say to you." An absent-minded professor, in going out of the gateway of bis college, ran against a cow. In the confusion of the moment he raised his hat and exclaimed, "I beg your pardon, madam." Soon after he stumbled against a lady in the street. In sudden recollectioa of the former mishap, he called out, " la that you again, yon brute." Highway Bobbbbt Almost, to I'll the poisonous, drunken, purging stuff as medicine to boneit men, innooett women, and harmlees children, to weaken and destroy their systems and health, when pure, harmless Hop Bitters can be bad that cures always and continually at a trifling cost. Ask druggists and physician s Bead advt. The late Sir Allan Mac Nab has a reputation in Canada for something else besides politics. He was travelling once on one of the steamers on Lake Ontario. The state rooms each oontained two berths, and the boat being crowded Sir Allan was allotted a cabin in which some other person was given the lower berth. Oo the morning after starting, Sir Al!«n, having over night placed his comb, toothbrush, etc., on the washstand, wns surprised while lying in bin berth to see his fellow pasß'-njrer u«e his (Sir Allan's) tooth-brush ; and thinking it but fair to have a joke at the man's expense, jumped out of bed, and taking a basin of water, put kis feet in it, and Foaping the toothbrush, began to wash his toes with it. •' Say stranger," cried the horrified lookeron, " yon don't use that brush to clean your toes 1" " Why what else would you suppose I use it for?" w«»s Sir Allan's reply. " Well I'm darned 1" exclaimed the stranger, rushing trom th. 3 state-room thoroughly disgusted. The brush wns given to the poor. MUTUAL LIFE ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALASIA. EITABMSHBD 1869. mHE GERALDINE AGENCY of the 1 Association has been TRANSFERRED to Messrs J. M UNO ELL AND CO., who in future will receive all Premiums and Proposals. oc2l SAJSIDERSON AND CO., LAND ESTATE AND GENERAL AGENTS, TIMARU. AGENTS FORMANCHESTER FIRE ASSURANCE CO., Capital £1,000,000. NATIONAL MUTUAL LIFE ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALASIA, Limited. FARMS FOR SALE--620 Acres near Makikihi, in English Grass, Good Houro and Improvements ; price £7 per acre. 500 Acres near Fairlie Creek Station. 1700 Acres near Albury, £3 per acre. Section at Silverstreair, MONEY TO LEND ON GOOD SECURITY. SANDERSON AND CO. TIMARU. aul THE >ERPETUAL PRESS Specially constructed for COMPRESSING LOOSE MATERIAL, Such as Hay, Straw, Rags, etc. One Ton of Hay can be packed within One Ton Measurement of 40 Oubio Feet. Belt Perpetual Press. Worked by Horse or Stean Power, Will Bale from Fifteen to Thirty Tons in Ten Hours. Descriptive Circulars with full particulars, on amplication to . JJOHN 11. LADD & 00,,