Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Temuka Leader, Issue 1450, 5 January 1886, Page 3

"My dear," said a young wife to her husband, " You have never taken me to the cemetery yet." " No, my love," he replied ; " that is a pleasure I hare yet in anticipation." Wblm' "Bough ok Cobks."—Ask for Wells* "Sough on Corns." Quick relief, complete, permanent oure. Corns, warts, bunions. Eempthorne Prosser and Co., Agents, Ohristohurcb. 1 Call a girl a chick, and she smiles ; call a woman a hen, and she howls. Call a young woman a witch, and she is pleased ; call an old woman a witch, and she is indignant. Call a girl a kitUn, and she rather likes it ; call a woman a cat, and she will hate you. Queer sex. SKiHNr Men.— " Wells' Health Benewer" restores health, and vigor, cures Dyspepsia Impotenoe, Debility. At Druggists. Kempfcborne, Prosier and Co., Agents, Ohristohuroh. 1 The unkindest thing that has recently been said about the legal profession is embodied in the remark made by a solicitor in a French Provincial Court the other day to a barrister who was called as s witness : " Look here, brother W. ," he said, "Just lose sight of your professional character for a moment, and tell ub the truth." Thb Bbazbh Sbepbnt.—Like the brazen serpent at the great Jewish leader lifted high in the sight of the perishing followers, whereby they were saved from death, the discoverers of American Hop Bitters have placed before suffering, ailing mankind, a remedy wbiah enables them to fight disease with conquering advantage. "I am positively opposed to having a choir in the church," said old Mrs Piety to her husband, after listening to the half-operatic airs of the service. "We have no account of choirs in the days of the apostles." "No," growled Mr Piety sadly, " but you know they had other methods of torture that were almost as bad," Fbbm Young Again.—" My mother was afflicted for a long time with neuralgia and a doll, heavy, inactive condition of the whole ij stem, headaohe, nervous prostration, and was almost helpless. No physicians or I medicines did her any good. Three months »go she began to me Dr Soule'i Hop Bitters, I with such good effeofc that she seems and ! feels young again, although ov«r seventy iyears old." —A LADY IK E.I, U.S.A. ! Look np Advt. He was thoroughly despondent, and one evening, after his wife had treated him to an unuasually large slice of her mind, he said ; "Well, Maria, I've stood this about as long as I can. I've made up my raind to go and throw myself into I the lake." " Don't you do it, John," was the reply. "Gracious knows, there's sickness enough cornea from that lake water already." Half Ablebi ! —" I never," wrote a young lady to a friend," go to ohurch or Jeoture but I am half asleep, and I never know after* wards the sermon or lecture is about." It was a plain case of nervous letkargy, produced by a want of action of, the liver and digestive organs. She was persuaded to try American Co's. Hop Bitters, and now she writeo, " How intelligent and bright are sermons and lectures now, and how glorious the world we live in is! Dr Soule's Hop Bitters are indeed a blessing to me." Notico Advt Mr Salatells the following}—Mr Thos. Chirnsjde, \u a London theatre, wishing ! to attract the attention of Mr Peter i Sharpe, of the Moorabool, whom he observed at a dibtance in the front row of the boxes, hailed his fri«nd bstweea the acts with a prolonged and stringent "Coo-e-e." The effect was startling. Charles Kean pushed, the curtain aside, and with quick intelligence warned the audience "to take care of your pockets, there are Australians in tfce house ;" little guessing that some ysars later he would himself levy tribute on Australian pockets upon Australian soil. " Bt/OHU-PalßA."—Quick, oompflet* rures, ill annoying Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Diseases. At Druggists, fcempthoine, ProsJ ui k Co.. Agents, Ohrlitehurah < 8