The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, APRIL 21, 1885. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1330, 21 April 1885, Page 2

The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, APRIL 21, 1885. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

The warlike preparations in this colony have an'amusing side, like other things. In Christchurch recently a meeting was held to form a Canterbury Reserve Corps. I don’t know what a Reserve Corps is, but that is what they wanted to form ; and they have formed it, not, evidently, without fear and trembling, judging from what took place at the meeting. Those present were past the age when man is supposed to seek “ the bubble reputation in the cannon’s mouth,” and they were making patriotic speeches, but no one present appeared willing to approach the question at issue in a practical form till one of them asked, would they have to fight? I'henallof them became intensely serious, and they seemed to be seized by a fit of alarm when the promoter of the movement said of course if it came to fighting it was for that purpose the Corps would be formed. The meeting became very silent, and all present appeared to turn suddenly to serious thinking when this announcement was made. A Mr Bowron here came to the rescue. He saw what was wrong, and said the thing which was delaying the business was the uncertainty of the position of the Corps. Would they be sent to fight if the enemy landed, or would they be kept behind as a civic guard to protect the women and children ? The Chairman answered that the first-class militia would be sufficient to fight along the coast, and that the Reserve Corps would not be required to do more than preserve order in the city. Business was done immediately, and the Canterbury Reserve Corps was formed without further delay. All they wanted was a promise that they would not he asked to fight. They would protect women and children so long as no attack was made upon them, but —but perhaps I may as well wind up by suggesting that a white feather should form a part of the head-dress of the Canterbury Reserve Force,

I noticed also that when a meeting was held in Geraldine some time ago Major Young was reported to have said that if war broke out between England and Russia, and the Militia Act were put in force, all eligible men would be compelled to go on active service, but the Volunteers would not. Now, it was too bad of you, Major, to hold out such inducements as these to men to become Volunteers. lam surprised at you. However, lam much obliged for the hint. If war breaks out I will join the Volunteers, because fighting does not suit ray constitution.

The “ Gladstone Almanack ” contains some interesting information. It has been published by an ftdingburgh firm, and it gives a diary of the doings of the Grand Old Man fot every day in the year. Here are a few specimens of the Grand Old Man’s doings according to the aforesaid publication:— “ June 2, 1872 : He appointed bis eldest son Rector of Hawarden, one of the richest and easiest livings in the Church ; annual salary, £3153. “He appointed his second hopeful a Lord of the Treasury ; annual salary, £1000—1869.”

" He appointed his son Herbert a Lord of the Treasury in 1881 with salary as his(tbeG.O.M.’sj private Secretary,” “He appointed bis nephew, Lord Wolverton, Secretary to the Treasury in 1857; salarv from 1857 to 1873, £34,000.” “ He appointed himself to the offices of Premier and Chancellor of the Exchequer—lß73 and 1880.” “ The Grand Old Man and bis family havedrawnfrom the National Exchequer in salaries to date £160,000,” It is asserted that all these appointments have been made on the 2nd of June in the years given. If so, the 2nd of June ought to be a day of thanksgiving in the Gladstone household. It is needless to say that the publishers of the Almanack are rank Conservatives.

A New Zealand poet has thus put into immortal verse the sympathetic relationship which exists between Sir Julius Vogel and Mr Stout : The critics aver that no lasting alliance Can be between Vogel and Stout, Since Vogel sets George and the Eads at defiance, While Stout is a Bad out-and-out.

The critics are wrong: Vogel proves his compliance By drinking cold water with Stout ; While Stout, inr return, puzzles medical science By catching from Vogel the gout.

They will find the missing link in America yet. Mr H. R. Hazeiton recently opened a large Indian mound near Carterville, Go, A layer of very heavy flagstones covered a deep vault, in which was found the skeleton of a man 9ft 2in in height, surrounded by seven other skeletons, apparently those of very young persons. The giant evidently had been a king, as his head was encircled with a copper crown. His hair, black as jet, reached to bis waist, but ho had no whiskers, The bottom of the vault had first been covered with a thick matting of reeds and grass, over which were spread the skins of some wild animals. The under-side of the stones covering the grave are filled with deeply carved inscriptions. If it is ever possible to decipher these, Mr Hazeiton thinks he will have something reliable in regard to prc-historic man in America,

In America a Mrs Miller applied for a master’s certificate. She had shown her proficiency in navigation and gave evidence of understanding thoroughly her duties as a captain of a vessel, but the application was opposed on the ground that a woman was unfit for the position. The local newspaper, always the champion of the weak, took her part. It says ;—“ The official declares that a woman cannot stand watch and watch. ‘ Why not ?’ asked the journalistic commentator, ‘ Cannot a woman dance all night long ?’ If she has to sit up for her husband, unexpectedly detained on business, is she not equal to doing so ‘ on the front stairs unaccompanied, except by a cold unsympathetic poker ?’ Thou why should a woman not spend from four to eight hours on the deck of a vessel T Any female captain could do it, especially if her second mate happened to be young and attractive. As for that a female captain cannot ‘ trudge about in the mud and snow,’ this notion of the deck of a vessel being encumbered with mud must have been derived from examining an American man-of-war which has been in the dry dock undergoing' repairs for 20 or 30 years.’' After this shrewd hit at the condition of the Yankee navy, the scribe proceeds to give his own reasons for disapproving of feminine skippers and these are some of them. A female captain would use a broomstick instead of a belaying pin. She “ would not be able to command confidence by chewing tobacco.” Probably she would attempt to substitute “gum drops,” whereupon the crew would find out the deception, and refuse to believe that she know anything of navigation. An examination in maritime profanity would probably further reveal the total unfitness of Mrs Miller to command a ship. The chief objection, however, is found in the fact that a female captain would flirt with handsome male passengers. The consequence would be that she would neglect her ship. Hence it is justly surmised that as a captain a woman would turn out a dismal failure. Com O’Lanus.