The Temuka Leader THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 1885. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1319, 26 March 1885, Page 2

The Temuka Leader THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 1885. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Mr Bolton has at last given a tone to the Temuka District High School question. The discussion was falling below the level of the classic character of that institution, but Mr Bolton’s recondite erudition his thrown such a scholastic halo over it, that all its former unseemliness is brightened up by the coruscation of his genius. The reader will observe from this sentence that I, too, am making desperate efforts to give a classic tone to my language, 1 have just done my best, and if it were garnished with a little Latin here and there I think it would not be unworthy even of Mr Bolton himself. How I envy those who can speak Latin. I am told the goats in Kerry can speak Latin ; I wonder was Mr Bolton ever there 1 I have one request to make, and I trust Mr Bolton will not refuse me. In his next letter let Mr Bolton translate into Latin, “ Whip the cat from under the table,” and I shall immortalise him by making him the hero of an epic poem I am going to write as soon as the Muses inspire me.

The contrast between Mr Bolton’s Latin and bis language at the meeting when he said the Presbyterians ought to pay lor their Sunday Sehoot “as well as for their stockings,” is certainly very marked. It appears to me that this stamps him as n man of such versatile talents that he can make himself at home amongst ordinary commonplace people, or soar up to higher flights of educational intellectuality with equal equanimity (this is classic). This proves him to be undoubtedly a man of genius.

That sentence about the Presbyterians “ paying for their stockings” has bothered me ever since 1 read it. Did he want to insinuate that Presbyterians paid for their stockings only ? or is a Presbyterian stocking so costly an, affair that it is a serious matter to pay for it ? I have nearly upset the equilibrium of my knowledge-box in trying to understand this sentence, but the only conclusion I can come to is that stockings must be a serious item in the Bolton household.

Talking about giving a tone to meetings reminds me .of a speech made by the Uev. Mr Gillies, in Timaru, the other evening. He said clergymen ought to take part in public matters so as to “ give them a tone.” The rev. gentleman has frequently taken part in public matters, and has frequently given a tone to them, but it generally has been an angry tone.

The Editor of the Timaru evening paper has been studying politics lately, and this is the way he summed up the last Parliament:—“ One political rooster was continually pecking another, grouse bantam was always fluffing his feathers with outraged dignity, the geese hissed and grew angry, and the proceedings in the House resembled a revolution in a fowl-yard.” The same man stated in a subsequent issue that too much work was calculated to drive men to insanity. Perhaps this explains the sentence above quoted. 1 should recommend him to take a holiday. At any rate the sentence smells of the goose very strong.

For my own part I think a goose a veiy respectable bird. I never knew a goose that broke its word, or tried to cot its friend’s throat, or that did anything dishonorable, and that is more than I can say for some men I have come across. A goose is very inoffensive and strictly honest : it is cleanly in its habits and takes several baths every day, is peaceably disposed, dignified in its bearing, and never sponges on a neighbor for a livelihood, I never knew a goose that you could class amongst larrikins or loafers ; in fact, I think it a model worthy of imitation, and only for the high opinion I hold of it I should have said that the writer of the sentence 1 have quoted above was a a great goose.

At the R.M. Court, Temuka, yesterday, J. H, Jackson sued a man named Goodwin for the price of a pair of boots. Goodwin asked for an adjournment on the ground that he had not been served with the summons until the previous Saturday, and had not time to file a set-off owing to his solicitor, who held his papers, being absent from home. On this plea their Worships granted the adjournment. I am not a lawyer, but if I were a magistrate I should hare given Jackson judgment, and let Goodwin sue for the amount Jackson owed him. The law required a summons to be served 48 hours before hearing: that was done, and that is all the Court ought to take cognisance of, Goodein is an itinerant sewing-machine-seller ; he belongs to the migratory class, and if Jackson on this day fortnight tells their Worships he is nowhere to be frvnd, will they not be sorry they did not give judgment against him in time I Goodwin ought to be made to pay for his soie-savere.

Mr John Thompson, of Timaru, has a grievance. lie went to'Christchurch on thecheap excursion, fell off the train, and had a narrow escape. He slept soundly that night in a straw stuck, and turned up hale and hearty next morning ; and people were ill-natured enough to say he had been drunk, John is indignant at this, because, he says, the charge of drunkenness is calculated to injure his professional reputation. The following letter from him appears in the Otago Daily Times :—“ Sir, —My attention has just been drawn to an article in your issue of the 14th describing an accident which happened to me during the return of the excursion train from Christchurch. You state in plain language that I was drunk, I can bring a hundred witnesses, including Inspector Pender, to prove that I was perfectly sober, and that the accident was solely caused by a man taking hold of ray coat as I was passing from the carriage reserved for the band to another. Your statement is calculated to materially affect me in my profession as a surveyor, and 1 beg to request that you correct the error you made as publicly as the libel.-—I am, etc., John Thompson, Surveyor, Timaru, March 21.” He also talks about instituting legal proceedings against all the papers in the colony for having reported that he had been drunk. It is a vary damaging charge to make against a man, especially Mr Thompson ; but those who suffered through the train being delayed on account of his incapacity to mafifthm his equilibrium are not likely to sympathise with him. My advice to him is, if he goes to law, let him object to any of the excursionists being on the jury.

I have been sent the following story and requested to publish it “ A certain man owed a hotelkeeper money, and when a collector called for it the debtor said it could not be recovered from him, as he would plead the ‘ Tippling Act.’ The collector mildly interjected that it could he recovered under the 13th clause of the Licensing Act. ‘ Thirteen claws I’ exclaimed the debtor, ‘ I thought tea claws were too many for a hotelkeeper. Anyhow, lam not going to let anyone put thirteen claws on me !” I m«st say ihat I can’t see where the fun comes in. I have looked through a telescope at this joke, but could not see it.

Most boys are very proud of having an account opened with the Post Office or other Savings Bank. It gives them an air of importance, if not independence, to be able to think that they are laying up a fortune for themselves. This is certainly a spirit which it should be the aim of parents to encourage in their children. having means at their disposal, very often allow their children pocket money every week : but never encourage them to take care of it. Generally it is spent in Joys or sweet, meats or in whatever may be the passing fancy of the child, and thus spendthrift habits are contracted, the evil results of which are only too well known. I make these remarks on account of an incident which occurred a few days ago. A boy about ten or eleven years of age had just earned and received some few shillings, He ran all the way home with his prize, and in a few minutes he was on his way to the Post Office Saving’s Bank with his pass-book, The boy had evidently already began to think of the future, and to realise that “ A penny saved is a penny gained.”

Com O’Lanus.