PAT'S STRATAGEM.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1292, 20 January 1885, Page 3

PAT'S STRATAGEM.

During the war with the Maoris many of the soldiers o'eseitedfrom the regiment they belonged to and scattered themselves over the country. Scores of them went north, where they were employed by timber merchants and others. Little effort was made, as a rule, to recapture these men, but after the troops went Home a Gazette was issued proclaiming a free pardon to aM deserters from Her Majesty's service. Attempts had been made previous to this to capture a few, and a reward of ten pounds per head offered for their capture. One strapping young fellow, a son of Erin, had taken French leave of his regiment. Pat, as lie was called, ran away, and, after roughing it for some time in the wilds, engaged himself as a cook to a large party of sawyers. Now, Pat had been an officer's servant, and was a firstrate proom, so really his loss was more than his master could bear with equanimity of temper, wherefore many inquiries were made as to where he had taken refuge, with a view to his arrest. At last, a men-spirited, sanctimonious individual betrayed the hiding place of poor Paddy, but tho distance was too' great to .send a corporal's guard to arrest him ; and in fact to havo done so would have been as he would have had timely warning of his danger. Two natives, however, for a reward of twenty pounds offered to capture Pat, handcuff him, and deliver him bound, like Sampson, into the power of his enemies. The plan of these brawny savages was to entice Pat to tlieir village, which was not far distant from where the sawyers were working, where he was to be overpowered by numbers and tied up. But though many plans wero laid to accomplish this, they all proved failures. Brown, duskyeyed girls were sent to lure Pat from home, but though more tlmn willing to make lovo to these charming children of nature, Pat kept to his beat round aud about the hut and sawpits. It is not at all unlikely that lie received a quiet hint or so to be on his guard from one of his brown adorers ; but the stealthy Maoris, ever on the alert, contrived to ascertain that on a certain day all the sawyers were going some distance back in the bush and ! would not return till the evening. The Maoris thought that Pat, with two against him, would have no chance of escape if they happened to light on him nnpro- ' tected. They had obtained full leave to knock him down in case of resistance, so they started on their expedition. They crept up to the but about dinner-time, armed with a gun, a hard wood spear, and a pair of handcuffs. On looking through the window they saw Pat sitting by the fire, alone, smoking his pipe and half asleep. "He is ours," they thought as they opened the.door and went in. Their entrance aroused Pat, who looked up. He took in the situation at once, It has been s-»id that Irishmen are wanting in ballast, but when was ever a true Irishman placed in a dangerous predicament that he did not act with perfect sang fraid and all his mother wit come to his rescue ? "Come in, Johnny, my boy ; shure all tho sawyers' chaps have gone to the bush, and won't be back till to-morrow; sit ye down, where are the iliigant wahines (girls), and how are yez all. Begorra we'll 'avo somethin' to ate—pork chops and plum-duff, and bile some praties, and put on the billy, for a cup of tay is the right thing in the cowld weather, Johnny me boys," said Pat, looking at his visitors with the tail of his eye. The Maoris understood quite enough English or Irish to compreheud that they were going to have a delicious feed of fried pork chops and potatoes and tea. They no doubt felt that their man whs s.ife and their prisoner, and it was fit and right that he should prepare a good dinner for them. After the chops were eaten they couid of course, handcuff liim and take him off; so they loosened their flax belts in anticipation—pork chops was not an every-day meal with them. Pat bustled about, cut up the chops, pitched more wood on tho fire, filled the kettb for the tea, though he remarked that, "Divii a cow them 3awyers had so there was no milk, and the two goats is dead, rest be to their sowles." So chatting merrily on he took down the huge old and worn frying-pan, and pl&cod it on the tripod. In went the pork chops and plenty of lard ; on went the potatoes and kettle. Pat sot the table in order, tin plates, panuikins, knives and forks. " We caa eat by tlu fire," said the Maoris. " Divil a fear," said Pat, '' two great jintlemin rangatoiras like yerselves to ate on the flure : you will just sit down at the table wid me. Take yer seats, boys, till I bring the pratifla." Etch native having piled up his plate with potatoes, Pdt fetched the hissing frying pan full of chops swimming in boiling fat. In the twinkling of an eye—an Irish eye—the whole of the contents of the pan—chops, scalding fat and all - were emptied over the head of the most powerful of the two Maoris, and before he ould give utterance to a howl of terror and pain, Pat brought the fryingpan with his two hands and all his might on the head of the other, and with such force and good will that the fellows' head came through the bottom of it which rested like a collar on his shoulders. The two Maoris rolled on the earthen floor of the hut. Pat went out at the door, snatching up the gun as he went, after wishing them good-bye and telling them to make themselves perfectly at home, and slipped away into the forest. " Bathushin," said he, " the dirty varmints to make me waste the mate and ptaties, and spoil me fiying-par." No one attempted to* molest Pat after this, and ho became a first-rate bushman, and is bow, I believe, doing >vell as a small farmer.- T. McD, in the Wanganui Herald.