The Temuka Leader SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1884. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1254, 18 October 1884, Page 2

The Temuka Leader SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1884. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Look to your kurels, Mr Editor ! Your bank scheme is doomed to be overshadowed by a scheme which Mr I. B. Mendelson, of Temuka, Ins been propounding for the past week or tvo. He says that if the urovernment started a rafflp, lottery, grand drawing of prizes, or whatever you may call it, the result would be unexampled prosperity! I am convinced that the scheme would meet the views of the great Sir Julius, and that if it were put before him he would appropriate it as he appr. printed Coleman Philips's scheme of the South Sea Islands. Gambling would be just into his hand.

About your bank scbeme. Don't yru think you are making too much of it ? You will turn the men of wealth against you, and those for whom you work will not thank you. Take lago's advice, and " put money in thy purse." Patriotism does not pay—only such as Sir Julius Vogel. If men of wealth withdraw their support from your paper, you may rest assured those in whose interests you injured your business will give you but scant sympathy.

I am surprised you were not able to see through Sir Julius Vogel's South Sea Island scheme more clearly. Can't you see it ? The Governor will have the power of nominating the President of the Company, but as the Governor only acts on the advice of his Ministry, and as the Ministry consists of Sir Julius Vogel—all the others being puppets in his Lands—the Ministry will undoubtedly recorrmend Sir Julius Yogel to His Excellency as the only fit and proper person to fill the Presidential chair. Sir Julius will work himself into a billet somehow, you bet. If you could make something like that out of your bank scbeme, I would say, " Wire in, and God speed," but as you can't, beware of injuring yourself. Self is the rule good sense advises, my boy.

Sir Julius Vogel will be President of the South Sea Islands Company. If he makes it a success, it will be the first Company that ever succeeded in his hands. He has tried many, and failed in all.

An epidemic of dreams has broken out among*, t the Salvation Army. The other evening one of them in giving his testimony told those present how he had dreamt of Hell on the previous night, and the picture he drew of the place below wns not a cheerful one, The next " testimoniser" and the next, and the next, and so on, also had dreamt of Hell on the same night, and you bet they made it pretty hot before they left off. I have always had a "down" on the place, I never liked it, and consequently I felt a, pleasure in hearing it run down. t'lie oiuy thing that I was sorry for is (hat the *' testimonisers" did not mauage to distribute their dreams over several nights. It was a mistake that they should all dream the same dream on the same There is a want of dicipliue in it which Captain Lewis might look

to. If he could so drill the dreamers as to produce one good dream between them once a week it would be more satisfactory.

It is something to be an editor, after all. Amongst 35 applicants for the post of head master of a High School up Wanganui. way was one, who, as a qualification to entitle him to the appointment, stated that he had " a wife, whose brother was an editor." I am glad to know then is living one m»n who regards an editor's position as one of importance. I had learned to look upon editors as unfortunate beings who have been put upon this earth as a warning to the rest of humanity, to enable them to see that hard as their lot may be it is capable of being made harder by being translated into editors. Jerusalem ! What a world this would be if we were all editors. I believe one thing religiously and solemnly, and that is that editors will go to Heaven straight the moment they die, because their sufferings on earth expiates for any venial irregularities of their lives. It is pleasant to know, however, that the candidate referred to feels a pride in having a brother-in-law editor.

Amusing as the editor's brother-in-law's application was, there were others that were yet more so. Another of the 35 said he was personally acquainted with Sir William Jervois. One candidate described himself as " having the use of all his limbs, organs, and faculties." He was followed by an applicant, one of whose testimonials described him as being "no chicken, but six feet in his stockings." This candidate forwarded his photograph with his application, but not a lock of his hair. Another one wanted a change because "his present duties had brought his brain to a hopeless state of'fluidity.'" Yet another had " rowed in his college eight, and played in his college eleven," while another muscular candidate boasted of having made '■ the highest cricket average for the season."