MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1247, 2 October 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

England had to import 705,000,000, eggs last year to come out even. English hens put on too many airs. /in old gentleman accused his servant of having stolen a stick. The mao protested perfect innocence. “Why,” exclaimed his master, “ The stick would never have walked away itself,” Certainly not, sir, unless it was a walking stick.” Decline of JJAN Nervousness, Weakness, Dyspepsia, Impotence, Sexual Debility, cured by “Wells’ Health Renvwfr.” Druggists, Kempthorno, Prosser & Co, Agents, Christ church. 2 Conscientious newsvendor, who has been despatched with all -speed to the refreshment room by a famishing passenger to fetch a penny roll, bribed witn an additional penny to get cne for himself (to famishing passenger) : “ Please sir, here’s your penny : there was only one left.” A bookbinder said to his wife at their wedding. “It seems that now we are bound together, two volumes in one, with clasps.” “Yes,” observed one of the guests; “one side highly ornamental Turkey morrocco, and the other plain calf.” “ Buohu-Paiba.”—Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Disease*. At Druggists. K’-mptbome,Pros-ser & do., Agents, (Juristchurch. 2 A Yankee wag said to a friend, “ Things are really come to a pretty pass in onr town ; all the ladies stopping at the Girard left the dinner-table yesterday.” “ Possible ? ” said the person to whom _ the remark was addressed, greatly surprised. What caused them to do so?” “ Why,” responded the friend, convincing himself that the coast was clear, “ they had finished eating.” A pass was made at him but he dodged it. Application was made by Jerrold for a contribution on behalf of a literary man, who was extravagant, and had appealed before. “How much money do you want?” said Jerrold. “Only a four and two noughts.” “ Then put me down for one of the noughts.” Hokse Cabds.— Horse cards of any size can be obtained at the office of this paper on the very shortest notice. Oar selection of “ cuts” is the best in South Canterbury, notwithstanding statements to the contrary, as an inspection will prove. The prices are also lower than those of any other establishment. [Advt.]