MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1194, 24 June 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A man will burn his fingers lighting a cigar with a piece of paper, and make no fuss about it, but when his wife asks him to set the tea-kettle over, and he t-ikes hold of the warm handle, he is mad enough to wreck the kitchen.—Detroit Post.

Skinny Men. —'Wells' Health Renewer restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence, Debility. New Zealand Drug Co,, General Agents. 1 At a theatre in Dublin a gentleman requested a nian in front of him to sit down, adding sarcastically, ' 1 suppose that you are aware, sir, that you ate opaque.' ' I shall sit down when it suits me,' was the response, 'and if you want to handle my name, mind it's notO'Paque at all, but O'Brien.' Don't Die in the House, —' Bough od lints' clears out rats, mice, beetles, roaches, bed-bugs, flies, ants, insects, moles, jackrabbits, gophers. New Zealand Drug Co., General Agents. Two ladies belonging to the upper-ten division of society met one day. Said one : 'Have you heard that Mrs R. died last night ?' 'No, bless me ! Is that so ? That's too bad. Why, she owed me a visit !' exclaimed the othei.

'ls it possible, miss, that you do not know the names of some of your best friends V inqaired a gentleman of a lady. 'Certainly,' she replied; 'I don't even know what my own will be a year hence,'

Wells' 'Rough on Corns,'—Ask for Wells' Rough on Corns;' Quick relief; eomplete, permanent cura. Corns, warts, bunions. New Zealand Drug Co,, General A'ents.

' My dear,' said a dying husband to his wife, ' when I am dead you will see that my grave is kept green Y 'Yes,' sobbed the heart-broken woman, ' I will for a little while.'

'Yes,'said Mrs Uppertenn, 'I know the telephone is a great convenience, but 1 shall have it taken out of the house. The things are becoming so dreadfully common, you know.'

Lovely Clicks, There are lovely climes and places in which the evening zephyrs are loaded with malaria and the poison of fever and epidemics, To dwell there in health is impossible, without a supply of Hop Bitters at hand. These Bitters iu.part an equalizing strength to the system and prevent the accumulation of deadly stores of contagion. Be sure and see Advt.

The other day a rather green-looking fellow went into a dry goods store in Banger, according to the Commercial, and walked up to one of the lady clerks, when the following conversation occurred : ' I want to get four yards of wide ribbon for a girl.' ' All right, sir. What colour do you want?' '1 don't know. 1 just want four yards of ribbon, that's all.' 'Yes, but we had ought to give her some color that will suit her. Is she n blonde or a brunette V ' She ain't either, she's a hired girl.' HoiLOWAY's OINTMHNT AND PIIIS. — Diseases of the mn" formidable and chronic characters have boon a\r<ri by Hollo way'» remedies. Ulcerations which have proved themselves incurable by any other known means have healed kiirilj undor the purifying and regeiemf.ing ii.flu«v. C tj of this txcdlent Ointment. Spmut-, at iff joints, contracted muscles and glandular Killings can be most safely end effectually herded by Ho!loway's Ointment and fills, which can do no harm under any *s\rcumetitrif. s. Neither if ihesemedicament:- has anything deleterious in its composition ; both are essentially purifying and strengths:}ng in ih«ir na'ute. Tin oni,hired power of H;e*e noble lemedns enabUs ihtm buoemfully ro cof e vjth most descriptions of iinpuritifp, and to cure, or at least relieve, most varieties of diseates.