LOVE, COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1122, 17 July 1883, Page 1

LOVE, COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

The Rev Mr Standage, of Ashburton, delivered a lecture on ‘ Love, Courtship and Marriage,’ in the Wesleyan Church,. Temuka, last Friday night. The Rev Mr Wills took the chair. There was but a small attendance. The .’revlecturer; after some introductory remarks said he had no faith in a man or woman, arrived at the years of- maturity, who fold him that he or she never Moved. Next to religion there firaa nb other feeling more important than man was never nearer perfect!bn-than when he sincerely loved. iWhy were 1 there not more marriages 1 The ladies twerer riot altogether .to blame. Men were of getting manned owinginstances of unhappiness they witnessed. They were afraid also of the expense, but if one went into ihe town, and picked up the first twelve married and the first twelve single men he met, he would find the married men were better off in every wiiy than the single men. Besides, it was single men who contributed principally to the criminal and pauper classes, and to avoid drifting into either cf these classes men ought to get married. There were other men so shy that they waited until some girls would propose to them. He pitied them. He was unable to give a fair definition of love. It must be felt to be realised. It was wonderful how it developed a poetic taste, and other eccentricities, but these should not be laughed at. Parents were unwise in interfering with the affections of their children, as they were not able to choose for them a suitable partner, and a great deal of unhappiness and bitter disappointment resulted from the interference of friends, and the meddling of matchmakers, He would not go so far as to say that marriages were decreed in Heaven, but there was a wonderful providence in it. He instanced the case of a man who saw a young lady scrubbing a door step, fell in love with her right off, went and proposed, was accepted and married, and was happy. He would suggest that persons intending to marry ought to pray for a suitable partner, but God would not work miracles in their favor, and so a person would have to use his common sense also. In choosing a wife a man ought to look out for a religious woman. The Queen never looked so queenly as when she said the greatness of England depended on the Bible. A woman ought to be educated. He did not mean in the fineries, but in what would be useful to her in house, keeping. She ought to be able to cook, for a great deal of unhappiness resulted from bad cooking. She mast learn domestic economy and be conscientious If she conducted herself well towards her parents she would make a good wife. She should be healthy, and one half of the unhealthiness of ladies resulted from not making use of fresh air and water given by God to them. A wife must be cheerful. A man would be able to fight the battle of life far better if he had a cheerful wife. Avoid one who is a sieve to fashion, He then gave most amusing sketches of ‘chignons,’ ‘Grecian bends,’ and the Alexandrian limp, and said of all fools a 1 she’ fool was the worst. A man should not choose beauty or wealth. The man who married for money was the meanest thing walking on God’s earth. Who were the ladies to choose 1 It was only right that ladies should look forward to marriage, for in doing so they would only be true to what God made them. Some people thought ladies lost their chance when twenty-two but he held they did, not until they were seventytwo. They ought not to be in a hmry, and they ought not to be deceived by men who told untruths to attract attention. They ought to know that the man respected God, for if ha did .lot lie would not respect a wife He would advise the ladies not to many an irreligious man, a flirt, a fop, a drunkard or a lazy man, and they should be sure that he loved them and that he was kind- , hearted. There should be an agreement in their religions beliefs. A great deal of unhappiness resulted from differences on matters of religion. Their social position, their education and their friends, should be as nearly equal as possible. He then referred to ‘ popping the question,’ giving instances of the Scotish, English and Irish way of doing it. The cautious Scotchman after courting fourteen years —Bishop Fraser, a Scotchman, courted twenty-five years —went (o the cemetery and bought two .sections, and told Jenny that lie had done so because it would be so nice that they should be together after death, but Jenny replied that it would be better to be together before. The Englishman told bis Sally that it was not good for man to be a’oae, and she retorted that he ought to go homo to his mother, then. The Irishman told his Bridget that the population was too large, and bo as to decrease it suggested |

fheyobotfi'.shnuld become one. He ; then referred to = the ceremony of friarfi-tge, the ring, ana many other matters, and-, said ifiat «:wom*ri had just 'as good a right to smoke, drink, go to theatres, festivals, -aces or anywhere else where her’ husband’ went A man 'otifcht not to he parsimonious with his -wife, .beorinse if \she wanted anything she iCpnjd get it from the storekeeper nndj put it down as sugar. Tiie rev. gentleman spoke for two hours and'u half,' and at the. close a vote of 'thanks; was carriediby aobtarnation. /; The-; pteyi ;Mr jWilis: i the benediction and, the proceedings terminated. vj ■ ■