RAILROADING IN THE WEST.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1116, 9 June 1883, Page 3

RAILROADING IN THE WEST.

Now and then a chronic grumbler from the Eastern States finds himself starring as a tourist out West and learns that the purchasing power of growls is not unlimited in that section. Where do you take dinner ?’ querulously demanded such a character of a conductor on the Northern Pacific Railroad, travelling from Fargo to Bismarck. ‘ At Jamestown,’ courteously replied the conductor. ‘ Get there at midnight, I suppose,’ grunted the passenger. ‘ At 12,22/ answered the conductor. ‘Can’t you stop somewhere and let me get a cracker ?’ ‘ Not very well, sir. There are no opportunities between here and Jimtown.’ Finding himself treated in a gentlemanly fashion, the tourist turned loose and cursed the road from 8t Paul’s to Gleiuliii*) Creek, and after finishing his

dinner he took in ihe Duluth branch and wound up with the officers and trainmen consigning the whole business to bitterness and wrath eternal. The conductor made every effort to pacify him, but his exertions only stimulated the volume of abuse until the train stopped at Bismarck, 1 Can I see you a moment?’ askel the conductor, taking the tourist by the elbow and leading him to the quadrangle back of the Sheridan House. 1 You don’t seem to understand the railroad system. Now here’s Duluth !’ and he spanged the tourist in the left eye. ‘And here’s St Paul!’ planting his fist in the other optic with a terrible force. ‘ The two lines meet here at Brainerd !’ which he mapped out on the bridge of the passenger’s nose. ‘ Then the trunk line runs along to Jimstown, where you get your dinner I’ and he brought him a terrible one on the mouth. ‘ Prom there to Bismarck is only a short run !’ planting a crusher on the victim’s chin, and there you arel’ landing him in a mud puddle, doubled up like a stomach ache, and howling for mercy, ‘ You will notice that the vigilant officials are carefully scanning all points or the road !’ and he marched up and down his prostrate student, who was now yelling for help. ‘ What’s the matter, Jim ?’ inquired a friend, whoso attention had been attracted by the controversy. ‘ Showing a bloke the advantage of our railroads over the Eastern outfit,’ replied the conductor. ‘ They never explain things where he lives, and I’m fixing it for him so he won’t feel like grumbling another time he travels over our line. Wait till I point out the difference between the school sections and the railroad grant 1’ But the tourist had eeled out of the puddle and gained the office of the hotel, to the disgust of the conductor and his friend, who were prepared to display all the attractions of the country rather than see a stranger depart dissatisfied .