A POETIC PRISONER.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1026, 4 November 1882, Page 3

A POETIC PRISONER.

A Nenagh correspondent of the Kilkenny Moderator writes that at the petty sessions of that town an ex-draper assistant, named John Anthony Maher, tcrmerly of Roscrea, latelv of Nenagh, and latest of Rathlowney, was brought up in custody charged by subConstable Jeremiah Regan with Having stolen a silk umbrella from the house of Dr Morton, Summer Hill, Nenagh. Mr William Reeves conducted the prosecution. The prisoner ' conducted' his own defence with much ability, and with all the assurance of an experienced practitioner, with an assumption of injured innocence, as if he were a martyr to circumstances.

The principal evidence for the prosecution was that of Nanny Ealph, a servant in the employment of Dr Morton, who deposed that on the clay in question the prisoner called at her master's house, and asked if Dr Morton was in. She replied that lie was not and asked if Mrs Morton would do ; she then went to acquaint her mistiess of the presence of the man in the hall, who wanted to see the doctor. On her (witness's) return to the hall she missed from the stand a silk umbrella, the property of a young lady then on a visit to Mrs Morton. "The umbrella now produced was the one taken from the hall. The Chairman —Is that the man (prisoner) whom you saw in the hall ? Witness—lt is, sir. Prisoner (assuming a tragic air) — Lady, look me straight in the face, I am but the wreck of a royal race ; Of fortune and friends they have bereft me ; I'm John Anthony Maher, that's all that's now left me. —(Laughter.) Evidence was then given by a Mrs Margaret Minogue to the effect that on the evening in question the prisoner came to lier husband's house and asked her to buy the umbrella for a shilling, but she said she did not want to buy it. Prisoner (who was ' all impatience'to make a speech)-—Well, gentlemen of the Court, what do you charge me with? I went into a house to see a doctor ; I was hungry, I was thirsty—laughter—nay, gentlemen, I was delirious ; in fact, 'twas our old familiar friend, John Jameson, that did it all—through me—(much laughter)—l was but the { instrument' —(laughter) —if [ too'c the umbrella, and we will assume for argument sake that I did—(great laughter) —I was quite unconscious of hav'ng done so. That gentlemen is the head and front of my offending., Now what's the odds ? (Great laughter.) I had £IOO a year in a draper's shop in Rathdowney. Let me go back to my business there again, and you shall never see me more. Chairman —There is no doubt but ! that vou stole this umbrella, and the j , J magistrates— Prisoner —Pardon me, your Worship, for one moment, while I address the Court. There was often ten times as much taken from me, and I ba\e never said a word about it. I lost a chain and locket that stood me in 19s 4^d—first cost, gentlemen, I assure you—(laughter)—and I never seen or heard of them since. I wish I were dead. Aud who known if life be not what we

poor mortals call death, and death the thing that wo call life ? There's a prcblem for you, gertlemen—which of you shall solve it ? Chairman —Why did you leave Rath downey ? Prisoner —Thereby hangs a tale— One evening in May, as the setting sun shone, The shop it was there, and John Anthony gone. —Laughter. Chairman—l have here your photograph— Prisoner (with well-feigned surprise) —What! mine, your Worship ? Did you say my photo, my second self? (Re newed laughter.) Chairman—Yes, and it is an accurate likeness. Look at it (and his Worship confronted the prisoner with his photo, at the foot of which was the date ' 17-1-75,' and the prisoner's name in full.) Prisoner (looking at the picture with all the air of an art critic) —Well, your Worship, I cannot compliment the artist, for it is not a speaking likeness, (Laughter.) However, now, your Worship, look on that picture, then on this (striking his breast), for you may ne'er look on their like again. (Great laughter.)

Chairman —I have also here a record of many previous convictions against you, and by which I will find that you were four times convicted for larceny, seven tines for vagrancy— Prisoner—Oh ! Mother o' Moses. (Laughter.) Chairman —Once as a public nuisance —■ Prisoner (with a smirk) —You dost't say so ? (Laughter.) Chairman—And 21 times for drunken ness. Prisoner—Shall I ever get drunk again ? (Renewed laughter.) Chairman—ln fact, we have such a good character of you here on this record that we shall give you the benefit of it, and send you for trial on this charge to the next quarter sessions. Prisoner—Now I should like to know who was the recording angel that went to the trouble of jotting down all my little pecadilloes. What about all the geod things I have ever done ? (Laughter.) Oh! if all my meritorious deeds were stated, They'd more than balance all you have enumerated. Chairman —That will do now ; you may go down. Prisoner— Down to the dust from which I sprung— Unwept, unhonor'd, and unsung. —(Great laughter.) Chairman—Constable, remove the prisoner. The case is now returned for trial to the next quarter sessions. Prisoner —When will the next quarter sessions be held, your Worship ? Chairman—On the 14th ol October next. Prisoner—Holy Moses ! (Laughter.) Then John Anthony, my boy, after all your journeyings to and fro, and after all the pleasant days and nights you've spent, 1 fear me very much that your sun has at length set, and set for ever ! (Renewed laughter.) The prisoner was then removed.