VARNISH ON THE CHURCH PEWS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 3610, 5 April 1881, Page 2

VARNISH ON THE CHURCH PEWS.

There was the queerest scene at one of the churches last Sunday. It seems that during the past week the seats had been newly varnished, and, somehow, the varnish was not right, as it was terribly sticky. You know when you pull anything off sticky varnish that it cracks., Well, the audience had all got seated, when the minister got up to give hymn, and as the basement of the sers left loose of the varnish of the ;chair there was a noise like killing a fly on a wall with a palm leaf fan. The minister looked around al the chair to see if he wal all present, and that no guilty man’s pants had escaped, and read the hymn. The choir rose with a sound of revelry, and after the tenor had swallowed a lozenge, and the bass had coughed up the piece of a frog, and the alto had hemmed, and the soprano had shook, out her polonaise to sea if the varnish showed on thosouthside, then the audience begin to rise. One or tjMJy

beacons got up first, with sounds like picket firing in the distance on the eve of battle, and then a few more got up, and the rattling of unyielding varnish sounded as though the fight was becoming more animated, and then the whole audience f got on its feet at once with a sound of * rattling musketry; The choir sang, ‘‘Hold, the Port.” When the orchestra had concluded the people sat down gingerly, the services were short, and al went home praying for the man that painted the seats.