A JUSTICE IN A QUANDARY.

Temuka Leader, Issue 362, 12 March 1881, Page 3

A JUSTICE IN A QUANDARY.

Tha envoy that came from Mr. Burns' 'saloon one morning, tO:'get;a warraut for the proprietor, was.hoavse, squat, ana jjje leaned Bcrooa tha bar of 'tHs^tJeifersoi:

Police Court, and whispered confidentially. —'Say, Judge, Patsy Burns wants to down on a kid that's been skinning him. _ c Akid! skinring him? Impossible, said his Honor. ' Where is the animal? ' Hj's a voung rooster," the applicant went on, ' what dishes out the booze on in Patsy s drum.' ,„, .., His Honor looked perplexed. Ob. its poultry you're complaining about, he remarked. I thought it was a kid you said just now. Well, what of the rooster ? The applicant took a good long look at his Honor, and tumbled his hat lining nervously. Then he began again with an air, submissive biat reproachful, ''"'," -n ' Say, Judgej don't- you play me. 1 m giving it to' you strait ; Patsy feels dead sore over the thing and wants the young terrier hauled up before you. The Judge dropped his, eye-glass helplessly. 'Look here my friend,' he said, if you came here, to complain about a 'whole menagerie say so ; but this paradj of flesh and fowl is distracting. Let us understand each other. Kid, rooster, or dog—is Patsy't trouble with. one or all ? The applicant looked about him hopelessly. Then lie said—- ' Judge, this looks like a dead open and shut. You don't seem to tumble to me at all. Here's the- scheir.e : 'There's a jigger behind Patsy's, bar that's' crooked, and he wants, him taken in. See ?' 'Oh, Patsy has a saloon. It is the person ■who dispenses the biVerageS he has trouble with ?' ' ■ , 'That'3 the racket. Judge,' and the applicant stamped with delight'. 'You've got it dead to ■rights.-.. You see, Patsy sets liis Moke in his shebang a .sending along the old •• stuff, and 'everything goes hunkee-doree till he sees his nabs sporting a'super, and togged out to the Queen's taste. Well, Patsy's pretty fly, he is, and he dropped to the caper. So he spotted the feller, and to-day he catched him working the damper.' . '.Working the damper? ' Yes, collaring the boodle!' ' Collaring the——. My friend, please be explicit,' his Honor moaned. ' What do you mean ?'. The applicant turned the quid in his mouth over and over again despondingly, but | made no reply. At last he blurted out in despair * Hang it, Judge. It's clear enough. He was tapping the till.' ' Tapping the till ? and his Honor paused to reflect. Then his face seemed to brighten iip. ' Ah, I see,' he said. *He was appropriating the receipts to his own use in the proprietor's absence.' 'That's the talk" roared the applicant. ' Appropriate' the receipts is the go. You've got it fine, Judge. That's-what he did —appropriated Patsy Burns' receipts. So Patsy sent me round to see if you wouldn't give hiin the collar and make him ante up. He's a bad lot, he is, and you ought to give him a stretch. ' What ?' cried his honor, ' Would you be so barbarous as to have me hang the man? ' Who's talkin of hanging ?' asked the other. ' What I said is he ought to get a nip.' ' ' Get a nip ? ' Yes ; go to the jug' ' I see, 'Lsee, Groto prison. My friend, I think we can oblige you. But this conversation is trying to a man of my constitution. J-o to Patsy Burns Tell him to make his application in* person, and for Heaven's sake let him bring some of the vernacular a'ong' The applicant bowed his head sullenly 'Maybe you're right, Judge,' sai:k he, 'and maybe you ain't •' ' but it does seem%iard on ( a citizen and a taxpayer if he can't get justice unless he swallowed a law dictionary and crammed down-jawbreakers fit to bust him. So long.' And he stalked gloomily away in quest of Patsy Burns.