The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1880.

Temuka Leader, Issue 296, 28 September 1880, Page 2

The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1880.

Ik the' absence of anything stirring in politics it may not be out of place to turn our Attention to thing" sociid and domestic, and £rst and 'Host important to our mind i« thlat of marriage. There is no denying that' the tendenpy of the age ia to ignore that fsaered aqd, valuable, as -well as necessary, iDßtitutioo. The conversation, when it'turns on this subject, brings ,up such remarks ■ as these, from young men at least—" Times are too bad to be encumbered with a vfife, whose daily demands are no trifling matter. The expense of dressing, and the style of living connected

with having » T»dy at the head of the tabl«, it more than a moderate income like mine can afford. Besides the outings and stiqpping and visiting absorb a larger proportion of my time than I can spare from my business. I manasre to get on in bachelor life very well I have none to care for except myself, and my expenses do not trench deeply upon my resources." This is n 6 unusual apology pat forward by young men as nn excuse for living an umnatural life of single blessedness as they term it. Nevertheless, their inward thoughts are all the while running upon the significant words of the apostle—"lt is good for every man to have hia own wife, and good for every woman to have her own husband." Paul was a deep thinker as well as a cloae observer of human nature and character, and, as many are of opinion, had Wa own trials to keep his body under. Doubtless had it not been for the interests of the church that he should remain single, he would hare married .some lady. }n countrieH not chrietian, and where the rule laid down by Paul is not known, marriage in some form taken place between male and female of the human species ; this is the. case even where savage life prevails. Oqly when civilisation has advanced a stage hap it been abused, where votuptious men are incapable qf restraining their animal propenalties. In such countries women nre degraded to the level of brutes. On the other hand, in highly civilised States, such as America, the female is hoisted up out of her prof er sphere, or level, and idolised in many instances until she is in a sense completely demoralised ; when we hear of such bargaining as that every son » wife brings into the world must put a tax of a hundred dollars —money down—upon the husband for pin money. When wf hear further that scares of mothers refuse to nurse their own offspring with what nature has provided for them ; then we say wires are demoralised, and no wonder that young men pause before entering into a contract which includes such heavy burdens. In looking at the engravings in the last arrived of the Illustrated News we •eeaHinda represented as inarchinglightly on without encumbrance, while his poor servile wife ligs behind with a heavy burden on her head, and when we read of th« life of a Chinee's wife waiting patiently at the back of her husband's chair l while he picks off all the savoury bits and hands her the bone, u if she was a farore"* poodle, we say the female is demoralised by being dragged down below her proper I level. Take an instance, different from either of these, that of a human being—worse than brute—who beats his wife and drags her about by the hair of the head till she is insensible (a no uncommon occurrence), then we eay that specimen of humanity is abusing the blessed privilege bestowed upon him by Divine Providence, and makeß young men turn away from | such scenes with loathing and disgust, | almost forswearing marriage for ever. Possibly remembering the saying of the Israelitish King—"ls thy servant a dog that ho should <do such a thing." It is more than possible that some of the spectators of this scene we have described had known the brutish huaband and oruelly used wife when they were a loving couple walking in respectable society, rowing eternal amity to each other scores of times, and picturing to themselves a joyous and happy life of many years. Yet, perhaps, one .year has not passed till they observe what we have stated enacted before their eyes. It this were all we could say about the blessednees of a married life it would not go far to induce ybung men to enter upon it. . Fortunately, there is a bright side, and this bright side we will now con sider. Doubtless when the first pair were brought together it was a happy meeting ; this happiness might have been permanent had the wife listened to the voice of no other charmer than her husband. Be this as it may, it is evident that Qod intended every man to have his own wife, and wife her own husband. -As proof that this was the case, let us look at the career of the one who first broke the law. Lamach, we read, was the first who had two wires, and what was the result 1 Not long after we find him'confessing himself -a murderer; he had slain, he said, a young man to his hurt. V Take 'the.career of almost every one who has lived under the Christian dispensation,, and it will be foun# that no sooner did he seek the society, of other women than his own wife, than;'his . misery begins, and ruin of charaoter. ruin of fortune, soon brings the result of breaking this holy contract to a by the party himself up to a.life of debauchery. With the wife who acts similarly, similar results is the consequence. David, the King of Israel, never prospered after the affair of Bathshabe. 'Solomon, who bad a thousand wives, says it all was vanity and vexation of spirit.; This was not the result of marriage, but the result of breaking the marriage vow. In our day it would be well for our ybung men, to marry, not improvidently. Some foolishly rush into this- state of life without the Registrar they are satisfied. Some have; beep known to -borrow even that; What is the result ? Married in poverty, they live . in poverty. The Chinese law iq pot a bad ooe- No one is allowed t° marry-until he payo the State £5, and give sufficient guarantee that he is able to keep a wife comfortably. Such a law would be of use amongst Christians, but it is ecarcely needed in the

Colonies. Many youof men are quit* i able to keep a wife comfortably, who prefer living in lodgings or voder worse surroundings. What it <he result t It is this—that these young men get inursd to this sort of life, and can command every? thing by paying 'for it, and when they get married, unless the wife give up her whole attention to his wants, which are not unusually, as trifling a* fiddlesticks, he gets soured and dissatisfied, and takes the ear? liest opportunity of returning to his haunts, leaves his young wife whole irigs alone, which not unfrequently leads to her ruin also; young ladies should think before marrying a lodger of long standing. Happily there are thousands, nay millions, of happy marriages, and every young 4*an, with good parts and fair prospects, should take to himself a wife before his vices or his failings grow oronic. In these Colonies every you 03 man would be more comfortable if he were married, and had a good wife, ■ No iv a word to the ladies. Our observations for a good many years leads us to the conclusion that it is hus bands that makes bad wives in nine cases out of every ten that turns out bad. If the wife has a weak side, it is the duty of the husband to try to strengthen it. None are perfect. If the hue a weakness for this or that luxury, give up some of your own, and le% her have a moderate indulgence of this weakness ; it is not "sinful, apd ten to one it will send her on her way rejoicing, ready to lay down her life even for her indulgent husband. Can she be trusted with money 1 Some husbands think their wives ought not to have the control of spending money, Shame on them- If they have not been taught the value of money, teach them ; advise them the best way to lay it out; go to the mart with them ; see how they bargain ; when they hava committed error, show them where. By eo doing, you will maka them better dispensers of this commodity than yourself. We have known wives make splendid financiers even, sharp witted, and penetrating. They could often buy and sell their churlish husbands, who absurdly treat their wives as if they had less sense than' Daft Watty, When a young man gets a wife who has been led to accept him by a strong affection on her part, the youog man can trust anything to that young wife. If there is no love, but a marriage for secular or worldly objects, such marriages will in most oases turn out bad, To a young lady we would say never marry a young man you don't like,' and trust to coming to like him afterwards. Not one in a hundred such.cases ever does this come to pass. Young men who have arrived at say 25 ought to look out foi a wife and settle down for life, if he has a fair prospect, In the Colonies there is too much of single-blessedness.. What is so unnatural as an old crone living alone. We have heard of one suoh, who, when he wants to speak to his housekeeper, always kept a newspaper between him «nd her, lest she should make herself too familiar with him. This is simply the result of bachelor life for a series of years, We pity the sorrows of such a poor old man, Why are the number of males and females born into this world so nearly equal, but that each might find a mate. What other animal in the world, after coming to maturity, lives without pairing t Why bhould men come to maturity and livo alone ? The highest authority said it is not good for man to be alone.