VARIETIES.

Temuka Leader, Issue 284, 31 August 1880, Page 2

VARIETIES.

The following neat reply was made torn school-board examiner, who said : " What is the difference, little boy—now you have heard ail s bout missionaries and their kind werks from your kind preceptor —between a Christian and a cannibal ?" A boy of ten, noted for a good appetite and a consequent love of fun, which always accompanies it, said with a grin, "Why, master, I'll tell yer—one enjoys hisself, and t'other enjoys other people. "

You inquire, " How can I keep my little boy from wearing out the knees of his pants?" That problem has been in the market ever since Eve asked Adam the same thing about jDung Cain. We only know three sure ways; you can kill the boy, or you can make his pants without any knees ; but perhaps the ' beit way would be to get some other little boy, about the same size, to wear tha knees out,' if you have such objections to your own boys doing it.

What's your hire ?" asked old Flinskin to his cabby, the ot-.ier day, and was met with the stereotyped reply : " Well, sir, I will leave that to you." " Thank you ; you re Terykindi" said old P., buttoning up, his pockets and walking off. "You're the first person who ever left me anything yet. Our inquisitive friend, Mr. Joy, has g ratified his long-felt wish to see the electric light While prowling about in the dark one night, his eye came in contact with the half-opened kitchen door. He describes the effect as bein<* brilliant and dazzling, but not as pleasant as he had been led to believe.

The gentleman who attracted attention in church one week by crying out" Holy Moses," had no intention of disturbing the congregation. He had been tacking down carpets the day before, and just as he sat down he suddenly remembered that he had naif a-paper of tacks in his coat-skirt pockets. • . . At a recent meeting of a parish, a straightlaced and most, exemplary curate submitted a report in writing of the destitute widows and others in the parish. Are you P ure, reverend sir," asked another solemn brother, ".that you have emoraced all the widows ?" He said he believed he had.

Two men were engaged in a fight in the street, and during the action one of them, dropped a lot of copper coins, stopped and began picking them up. When the fight was over some one asked. "Why did you stop to pick up that stuff when you were being pounded ?" " Because,' replied the man " I was taught tbat it I took care of the pennies the pounds would take care ot themselves.