MARK TWAIN'S INDIAN FIGHT.

Temuka Leader, Issue 274, 27 July 1880, Page 2

MARK TWAIN'S INDIAN FIGHT.

It was nearly twenty years ago when. Dan DeQuille and Mark Twain attempted to start a paper in country. They took the type and mat rials of their leccntly defunct newspaper establishment in San Francisco, and loading the stuff on a big waggon, struck out into the country to retrieve their fortunes, ihey packed their type just as it stood in the formes, tied up the articles with stout cords by a process well known to printer?, and packing them closely in boxes, vowed to establish a newspaper somewhere which would be tli3 "leading exponent of politics and history for the Pacific coast. Had not an unfortunate* circumstance taken place, it is quite evident that the same I nmvspap'T which they contemplated founding would have been alive to-day. Their j'urney over the mountains was utterly uneven ful until they reached Simpson's station, a spot well-known to old tn vellers on that route. Here they mi't a party of" emigrants' making for Lower California, an I the latter had with them a small mountain howitzer which they had brought with them across the plains. Twain took a great faney to tin's cun, and offered LlO for it with two kegs of powder thrown in. The emigrants were glad enough to part with it, as they concluded the time for its use had passed. Dan thought the purchase of the artillery and military supplies was a reckless piece ot extravagance, and said as murh, but Twain replie 1 : " When we start our paper we must fire a salute. A newspaper office with artillery has a big bu'ge on vhe business. No well-regulated office in California should be without a howitzer. If a man comes in for a retraction, we cap blow him into the n?xt country. The howitzer goes." This silenced the argument, and the next day the two journalists took the road with their 'printing outfit and artillery. On the next night they camped in a mountain ravine fifteen mibs from Simpson's, and, after building the usual camp-fire, fell asleep. About 11 o'cloek the horses awakened them bv prancing about, *nd the two journalists were led to the conclusion that nothing less than a party of Indians were making arrangements for a night attack. In the ciear moonlight they could be distinguished about half a wile away at the foot of the ravin-.. The i-'eji

of encountering Indians had nevcrch'toroO; z&i the heads of the two fortune seekers, and "- they hrd no arms. Suddenly Twain brightened up, remarking ; " The howitzer," t( We're got nothing but powder," said' Dan."

" Well, powder'll spare 'erp, and we'll load her up. ,r The piece was immediately loaded with a good big charge, and men ielt quite certain that the Indians, hearing the roar of the gun, would beat an unconditional retreat r The piece was hardly loaded nnl placed in position when about fifty of the redskins came charging up the ravine. Twain seized a brand from the campfire and was about to lay in on the touch-hole ~1 when Dan yelled "Hold on," as he ram- . J med something into the mouth of the piece, and remarked—- " Turn 'er loos.." The roar of the howitzer echoed through the lonely fDrest, and the frantic cries of pain, reeled down the ravine in wild confusion.

"A column of solid nonpareil, and a couple of sticks of your spring poetry." " The poetry did the business, Dan ; get one of your geological articles ready for the next charge, and I guess it'll let the red devils out for the present campaign."

The savages again advanced. Mark attended to the powder, and Dan sorted the shot, so to speak. " Jeems Pipes' song T ' Mv Mountain Home.'" " Good tor three Indians ; sjock 'er in."

" An acrostic by John R. Ride, in long i primer." " It'll paralyse 'em." " Frank Pixley on the Constitution, half a column of leader brevier." "If it hits 'em, the day is won." " Your leader on Law and Order." | ■" Save it as a last resort." Dan palled the type out of the boxes and stuffed column after column in the howitzer's mouth as the savages came charging on. Another round from the gun and the redskins rolled over and over each other like boulders swept away by a \ mountain cloud-burst. Mark, in an ecstasy of delight, pulled an American p% flag out of his effects, nailed it to the. tail-board of the waggon, and was about to make a speech, when the dusky figures of the foe were once more seen moving to the attack.

The piece was again loaded, and this lime with a double charge. Mark's leader on Law and Order, the puff of an auction house by Fred McCrellish (" as a sickner," Dan said), Frank Cross' verses on the " Rebel Yell,'' an agricultural article by Sam iSebaugh, showing the ehemic4 properties of corn juice as an educational lever, and a maiden poetical effort of Olive Harper, and some verses by Cermeny and Frank Soule completed load,

" That poetry, reaching 'cm first, will throw 'em into; confuskn, and my editorial, coming upon the heels of the rest, will result in a lasting demoralisation. It will be like the last cavalry charge of the French at the battle of Austerlitz."

For the third and last time the faithful howitzer belched its typographical compliments to the advancig foe. The havoc was terrible. There was ,a wild yell from a score of savaga throats, and then the low groans of the dying floated by the ravine on the gentle wind. The two men walked over the field of slaughter and counted fifty-six aboroginal? lying in heaps. The bodies" were horribly mutilate n with nonpareil, long primer, two-line pica, bourgeois, caps, dashes, and unsorted pi. "My leader cooked that man's goose," said Mark, priming to a savage with his bowels hanging, over the limb of a cedar.

"My geological article did business for him," rejoined Dan, nodding carelessly to an Indipn whose head was lying twenty yards away. " The pen is mightier than the sword." " You bet 1 Hurrah for Faust and Gutenberg." " Is there &ny type left?" " Not a pound." Ten days later the two journalistic tramps reached Virginia City, weary, discouraged, and foot-sore.