LOCAL AND GENERAL.

Temuka Leader, Issue 269, 3 July 1880, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

* Subscriber* sent the following for public*' lon — Lawyers Fees. — A certain gentleman of the longrobe living not 100 miles from Temuka Is well known for the way in which “ he doth ravish the poer when he getteth him into his net." The following story may afford amusement sod perhaps timely warning to some of our readers ; 4 gentleroas residing in the same town as the luminary aforsald Ked occasion for his services, offering at the same time L 6 as remuneration for the job. “ [ could •not,*said the man of law, ‘‘do it fo lim than L 7." " All right," replied his o'lent. 11 1 don't wrnl to cut down your charge; do It for L 7.” Imagine the surprise of the hapless client when some time afterwards he received a hill for over Ll 7, and settled by contra, too, as the client wee a creditor of the lawyer's for a considerable sum I The above deluded client fancies himself a little, but pow he does not like to hear this story talked ibont. He has an uncomfortable feeling that he has been “ had ” somewhere. The answer the lawyer gave to his remonstrances on the mutter does not altogether satisfy him. The lawyer's answer was, “ I said J con’d nut do it-for T/ESS than L 7 but I did nut. say I would not. charge m orb !”' Verb. Saf. . ‘

In Temuka yefuerday afternoon a horse in a dray belonging to Mr R Sharp bolted from Mr Mendelson’s yard, and made off round Sheen's corner jat a rattling pace Luckily the animal was stopped by some one at the back of the town before any damage was done

At Timaru on Friday evening a man named Henry Davis was arrested for smashing a window in Mr Herman’s shop His excuse was that ho did so in order to get locked up. as he was almost starting A friend of a Southland apparently from information received, is giving large odds that a dissolution will take place in thirty days. Tub Southland Times vorv properly condemns the innovation hy the Matnura, paper of chronicling.in the ‘’death” column notices of the deaths of animals. In the last issue of the latter paper appeared the following ;—“ At his residence, Gore, on the 23rd inst, from an overdose of hydrocyanic acid, Broe’s ‘ Beauty,’ the humble friend of all who knew him. Aged fifteen years.” At the lost meeting of the Christchurch Benevolent Institution, a request was received from the committee of the unom ployed, that a sura of money should bo placed in their hands with which to pay the rent of persons out of work, whose goods would otherwise be distrained upon. Tiie Benevolent authorities declin d to do this. In no case do they give relief in money. What might have turned out to be a fatal accident happened on Monday to Mr T. Miscall (of Quilter and Miscall), Waitahuna (says the Tuapeka Times). Mr Miscall was engaged at the battery when his hand became entangled in the belt of the revolving drum. Ho had the presence of mind Immediately to hia ha d, and escaped with slight laceration and the loss of a finger-nail. Ho came to Lawrence, where Dr Stirling dressed the wound. It is almost impossible to catch a dog with a tin pan tied to his tail, but wo saw a man do it the other day. That is, he caught the tin pan as the dog sailed around the'corner. Perhaps, lobe more explicit wo should say that the tin pan caught him The catching took place right in the stomach, and the man corkscrewed himsolf and looked for all the world as if green aprdes were in vogue The monthly meeting of the Q raid mo County Council will be h Id in their rooms at Timaru on Tuesday the 6th inst at 11 a.m., for the despatch of ordinary business. The late attempt at legislation In the direction of local government leads one to doubt whether these councils are really In operation, or have only a name. Subsidies are to be withdrawn, and those councils only who wer* wise enough to adopt the Act at the outset had any chance ff securing funds to go on with. Had Geraldine County Council sdopteatlie whole Act in time, money would have been in hand to carry out needful work As it stands at present it has none, nor the pro-pect of getting any. It Is therefore of little earthly use, except to pay office rent and salaries. How longlt is to go on this way none of the members we fear, are able to tell Rating at the present time is out of the question. An inquest on the human remains found on the Raugiiata river bod was held at the Tomuka Court-house on Tuesday last There was a particle of clothing on the body, but nothing to lead to the identity The jury found ‘‘that the deceased was found on the Rangitata river bed. but how he came to hia death there Is no evidence to show "

• A northern paper thus descants : —Our fair friends are progressing down South It has been decided to hold a leap-year ball at Christchurch after ti e style of the Ainercans It is said that in Yankee land on such an occasion, the ladies take a prominent part They are all activity The ladies request the pleasure of a dance from a gentleman, he is provided with refreshments at her hands, she does everything in fact which he usually does at such a gathering The will of a rich qaartz-miner lately deceased is a composition of unusual Interest (writes “ iEgles” in the Australasian) It is not often that a man indulges In what might bo called posthumos irony Leaving LSOO to a female relative, he says —“ This I would have supplemented, and made a higher figure, had she been discreet enough to think that I could attend to myself and my own affairs ” 1 Sir Hercules Robinson has purchased from Mr T. Lamraond the two-year-old filly Lady Emma and the yearling filly by Rapid Bay from Gipsy, so that it would appear as if his Excollancy meant lo race in New Zealand Lady Emma is a good filly, and I hear good accounts of the Rapid Bay filly Auatra’ians (says “Augur’’) will bo delighted to hear of their success in New Zealand

Wit is not abundant In American nowsfc papers Yet it is not so unfrequons When the Camden Post says, “ A man’ diameter is like a fence—you canno strengthen it by whitewash,’’ it gives us a genuine epigram Quite as felicitous, too, is this from the Cincinatti Breakfast Table . “A tack points heavenwards when ij means the most mischief ; it has many human imitators ” A bright turn of familiar quotation is given by the BidfordMinature time : “I am thy fathers spirit,’ as the pink flask said to the inquisitive urchin who had been investigaing the cupboard ” Mr Talmage having claimed that hell has four gates, tho Bufallo Express hopes they open outward bo as to give easy egress in case of fire The Hackensack Republican gave a witty conceit when it said last fall . “The leaves of trees, like summer boarders with bills unpaid, ake their departure leaving their trunks behind them" The following is evidently stolen from tho English : At dinner tho host introduces to the favorable notice of the company a splendid truffled pheasant ■raid murmurs of admiration “Isn’t it a beauty 1” he says *' Dr So and-so gave it to me—killed it himself.” “ Aw, what was he treating it fori” for says one of bis guests. This which is going the rounds without credit, bears eviderce of origin In tho New York World newspaper : “ A thorn in the bush in worth a dozen In the hand

Ik the Australian *' Angles ** tells the following story ;—“ A good old Presbyterian couple, residing on their selection near Goose Bill, hare en leavored, besidei threading their way through the intricacies of 1 the regulations,* to find time for family prayers, and hare always strictly kept their day The old lady, there being no kirk nigh, usually takes a Sunday stroll ®n the banks of the Murray, giving herself up to self-examination She wris horrified on one of occasions to find a woodcutter at work, and she soundly

rated him for his Sabbath desecration H* listened patiently, but replied not Shortly afterwards tlie same wood cutter at the old folks’ hut to borrow a saw Asking for the husband, he was informed that he was out fencing The man expressed himi«elf in turn ns greatly shocked at this, the day being Sunday, es ecially after the severe lecture he had received Upon in Testigalion the well-meaning old people were shocked at discovering that they had lost the run of the calendar, had been keep ing the wrong day for Sunday, ft -- d been breaking the Sabbath habitually for about six months ” At a summoned meeting of the Alexdrovina Lodge, held last Wednesday for the purpose of electing officers, the following Brothers, after being ballotted for, were duly elected : —Bro J. Blyth, N.Q ; Bro Jas, Davies, V.G, ; Bro J, Whitehead,Treasure r; Bro Uprichard,Sec. There was a good attendance of members on the occasion, and all the offices wore keenly contested. The Lodge is now progressing much better than hitherto, and as institutions of this sort are a decided benefit, we hope to see the improvement continue. A hearty vote of thanks was accorded to Mr Uprichard, the retiring sec, for the trouble he had taken in making up the books of the Lodge to such a satisfactory state, and also to Messrs Wills and Dyson for their assistance in same ; als« to Bro Whitehead for his services us Treasurer for the past term. After some business of a routine nature, the meeting terminated with a vote of thanks to the retiring officers. The next Lodge night is to be the installation of officers, of which due notice will be given.