MARK TWAIN’S LATEST.

Temuka Leader, Issue 269, 1 July 1880, Page 2

MARK TWAIN’S LATEST.

Mark Twain’s latest production is a letter giving his opinion of private secre taries, in which he sits down rather hard upon Mr Kirby, urivate secretary to Postmaster-General Key. The letter has caused a great deal of amusement among Mr Kirby’s associates in the post office, and that gentleman feels very much torn up in consequence, and pro bably will not be anxious to tackle the subject again, at least not for some time. Some days ago Mr Kirby took occasion to write a letter to Mr Clem ns (Mark Twain) in which lie had the temerity to criticise some comments made by that gentleman upon a recent order of the post-office departnunt, thatit was to meet just such hardened cases as yours ; and I also send you a copy of the postal laws, and hope you wil l take the trouble to look into the matter thoroughly,’’ It seems in the letter received in reply that Mr Clemens did look into the matter thoroughly, and Mr Kirby thinks now that he has made too searching a study of it. Among other things in his letter Mr Clemens says : “ My callow friend, when you shall have outgrown the effervescence of youth, and acquired a bit of worldly experience, vou will cease to make mistakes like that. This is, you will refeognise the simple wisdom of minding your business. You seem to think yon are called to account. This is a great error. Tt is the post office department’of the United States that has been called to account. There is a difference here wnich you seem to have overlooked. I will point it out. You are not the post-office ie partment, lut only an expensive rad unnecessary appendage to it. Grave, elderly public instructors like me do not call private secretaries to account. The mistake you have made is simple ; .Vou imagined yourself the dog, whereas you are only the tail. You endeavored to wag the dog. This was injudicious. You should have hung quisent until the dog wagged you. You -eem to have gather -d tlv h-presriou, somehow, that you are a m.-mber of the Cabinet. This as an error. Your chief is one of the guns of that buttery ; you are not. You arc not a gun, nor'a load, nor oven a rarnroad ; neither do yon supply ammunition ; you only serve as a stick to fire it. off Do you - creciv ? The thing I am trvingtf) convey }•> you is that it does uot become yon to assume functions that do not become you